Gruntilda Winkybunions Revenge: SOM..
by khssConker T
Summary: I don't mind Teenagers seeing this at all..This has sexual jokes and cuss words..Basically,Boggy and his family dies,thanks to Grunty and her cousin Scrot(as in Scrotum) and Mumbo demands more revenge,that starts story.
1. Default Chapter

Grunty Winkybuninon's Revenge: It will have will have Gruntilda, thats for sure, and it ain't gonna be pure childish, it will have a twist of adult content, with immature jokes. Mingella and Blobbella survived through Tower Of Tradegy, unbeknownst to Banjo. Basically, Grunty and her sisters have a new machine called SOM (Sickened Out Machine) broadcasting scary porn of doom to everyone, but enough of that.. The story begins!  
  
Chapter 1: The Beginning!  
  
1 1/2 years after Gruntilda Winkybunion the Witch was defeated twice by Banjo and Kazooie, now only a head! After her body detached and ruined for good, she has no-way of getting back to safety ,except spells with her mouth. Klungo (who will never speak to Grunty again) forces Grunty to be alone! After so long, this is where she remains this very day!  
  
"This really sucks! All day being here, laying on the ground, all alone. Especially being a skull without skin of body,nothing but a skull with hair,which is as useless as bones!" Grunty complains.  
  
"I really hate that Bear and Bird, more people I hate too, but I shall not say a word! It really ticks me off, laying here in Cauldron Keep doing nothing, just a head. If I could just.. Wait a sec, thats it! I have 1 last spell, that one last spell, for revenge! To kill that matha phackin bear and bird! Once and for all, to die or not. Who cares, as long as they DIE!" Grunty yaps, while her right eye falls out for the third time in her life, as if she had one!  
  
"I have a new spell, its rather neat, its just what I need for the great defeat!" Grunty laughs!  
  
"Upon this lonely head, I will cast my spell, to get a brand new body, with the deadly smell, of doom for the bear, and which will soon be a rug or even a new scarf I can wear! A new body is what I demand, and a new body, is the spell I get from my command!" Grunty yells, while her head begins to levitate! And magically makes a boney body appear!  
  
"Black magic may not be good, but its enough for.. Oh bloody hell, who needs to keep up this ryhme, its wasting my time!" Grunty says, as the boney body moves around without her head!  
  
"Over here I demand, here now!" The body moves up to Grunty as she yells, picks up the head, and puts on Grunty backwards!  
  
"Oh dear, I'm glad I can make people once again fear! For I will get that bear and bird, making them not able to hear.. Crap, enough rhyme, I don't get paid enough, besides, I don't have to do it all the time!" Grunty says, as she walks away with her new body, twisting her head in the direction is should be!  
  
*Meanwhile...At Boggy's House..*  
  
"How is the Bear Babes DVD Banjo? Pretty hot, huh?" Boggy says..  
  
"Yeah, but not hot enough.. Its still cold in here.." Banjo replies..  
  
"I told you Banjo, you should have blasted Jolly's door to keep enough Doubloons for a new house!" Kazooie says.  
  
"Well, this place is better than none." Banjo replies..  
  
Boggy's door opens..  
  
(Tooty runs in mad!)  
  
"What the hell happened while I was gone? I came home and I see a big dump.." Tooty complains, while setting her suitcases down..  
  
"Grunty burned the house down." Banjo replies..  
  
"Sure.." Tooty says sarcastically..  
  
Boggy looks at Tooty, wondering if its Banjo's cousin.  
  
"Like, what is it Boggy?" Tooty asks..  
  
"Last time, you weren't so tall and acted like this.." Boggy replies..  
  
"Yeah, its called Puberty! And whats that on T.V.!" Tooty replies..  
  
Boggy turns the DVD player off and goes to the Mr.Pants channel!  
  
"Calm down.. Tooty, you might as well get used to this place.." Kazooie says!  
  
*Meanwhile, in Isle Of Hags!*  
  
"Revenge is mine, I can promise! I must get those bastards in a zoom, and meanwhile I'm at it, make an Explosive Kaboom!" Grunty says, running towards the Cliff Top of Isle Of Hags!  
  
"I must destroy the Bear and Bird, and it will be fair and all will be heard!" Grunty laughs, still running! Then enters Hailfire Peaks!  
  
*Meanwhile, In HailFire Peaks, Boggy's Home*  
  
"Well, if you don't be quiet, we'll have to kick you out!" Boggy says to Tooty!  
  
"Well, maybe if you weren't so fat--" Tooty keeps saying!  
  
*Back Outside In Hail Fire Peaks.*  
  
"I just passed the Fiery Border, its really true, and it even makes me really happy too! And I just can't wait to destroy that BK crew! Grunty says, running towards Boggy's house at the Icy Side!  
  
*Inside The House*  
  
"Hey, I'm suppose to be fat, I'm polar bear, if I sleep without fat, I'll be cold and ---" Boggy says while being interupted by a knock on the door.  
  
The door opens…With Grunty!  
  
"What the hell!?" Kazooie just yelled!  
  
"Gruntilda, I thought you were dead?" Tooty says, confused..  
  
(Gruntilda enters the room!)  
  
"See ya twits, cause I ain't gonna see like ya in hell!" Grunty liked to yell.  
  
"What does that mean? Winky?" Banjo says..  
  
"You twits, just don't deserve a chance for an explanation, I don't care about the damn house, but as long as I kill you all, I'll be happy, and maybe grow tall!" Grunty says, getting out Knife!  
  
"Oh please, how pathetic, maybe if you had Psyenergy waves tossing us around, you'd be scary, but your boney butt is pathetic, we killed you twice, now stay dead!" Kazooie says as she tosses a Fire Egg at Grunty!  
  
"No,you fools, I shall kill you all, and be the ruler or own a mall!" Grunty yells, then suddenly having her new body, falling apart..  
  
"But..But.. How can this be.." Grunty cries, as she falls down as a head, once again.  
  
"How pathetic, you don't know when to quit." Kazooie says..  
  
(Banjo grabs Grunty's head.)  
  
(Grunty tries to bite, but she has no teeth.)  
  
"Haven't you learned your lesson Grunty? Why not retire?" Banjo says.  
  
"NO! I'll gum you to death!" Grunty says, as she falls from Banjo's fingers to the Floor.  
  
(Moggy then goes up stairs, with a Magnum, due to the yelling up stairs.)  
  
"Gruntilda! Hey dad, can I kill her! I found your Magnum in your closet, I wanna use it!" Moggy says.  
  
"Why is that kid holding a Magnum.." Tooty says with her eyes wide open..  
  
(Boggy grabs the Magnum from Moggy, and puts it on top of the T.V. , in order to keep it away from Moggy.)  
  
"Thats it, out you old hag!" Kazooie says, as she kicks Grunty out side, with a Bomb next to her.  
  
*Outside.*  
  
"Ah shiii--" Grunty says,just when the Bomb goes off and she gets blown all the way to her old Lair..  
  
*Inside Grunty's Old Lair.*  
  
(Grunty lands in front of Cheato.)  
  
"Feck OFF GRUNTY!" Cheato says, moving Grunty outside to Spiral Mountain.  
  
*Outside In Spiral Mountain.*  
  
"Now this is it, the end I guess, I'll be just a kickball of a head, just doomed. Oh well, might as well sing a song of how much Bertilda sucks!" Grunty says..  
  
-Author break!-  
  
At the Cock and Plucker.  
  
"Well, It seems that the hag was getting revenge in this Chapter.. But had a little trouble, due to the fact she failed.. Now at Spiral Mountain at the moment." Sabreman says..  
  
"So, she has a crush on me! I hope she is in trouble!" Gregg says!  
  
"Arr thar, I'm glad you got that bitch away Gregg, I'll give ye this!" Captain Blackeye says, as he gives Gregg 2 Doubloons..  
  
"Are we gonna continue the story?" Conker says..  
  
"Maybe.. But don't forget the Copyright information at the end!" John from Rare says..  
  
"Get the damn story started!" Uncle Tusk yells, with his sword above the author's head!  
  
"Okay, okay!" Giro replies, trying to get away from Uncle Tusk's sword!  
  
-Back In The Story-  
  
Grunty's head lays on the ground, next to a Green Ugger..  
  
"I comand you, I am Gruntilda, help me you bum!" Grunty says..  
  
The Green Ugger pounds Grunty ,sending her to the other side of Spiral Mountain..  
  
Suddenly..  
  
A Giant Knife Bursts out from the Ground, next Gruntilda!  
  
"What the hell is going on, I say, I comand you, I won't stay!Or maybe I will, but who cares, I'll just find a way into my lair, by moving my chin, even up stairs." Grunty says..  
  
The knife cuts a hole in the ground, and suddenly, a weird Robotic like weasel that looks like the Mob-Boss from CBFD pops out!  
  
"Who the hell are you is what I ask, don't bother me if you are here to kick my ass." Grunty still ryhmes..  
  
"I'm here top help have revenge, help me.. Help me, kill the Squirre--" the Robotic Puppet suddenly stops..  
  
Suddenly,a big Comet hits the robot and busts it up to peices..  
  
"I didn't like him anyways!" Grunty yelled..  
  
Then Jolly Roger pops out of the ground...  
  
"I think I'm the last, ew ah ew, person to be kicked out from this..Ew ah ew, but shall I dance with Moris Dancers?" Jolly says..  
  
GRUNTY SCREAMS her bottom jaw off as Jolly dances in front of her.  
  
Suddenly..Something odder than the odd stuff that happened starts to happen..  
  
All of Spiral Mountain shakes..  
  
"Ew ah ew.. I think I have to leave.. This place is scary.. I better go home with my Moris or Boris dancers.." Jolly says as he runs..  
  
Suddenly, A huge Steel hat begins to rise from the ground.  
  
"Not that is a hat I hate, but please, give me a break!" Grunty mummers with her bottom jaw detached and her right-eye still missing..  
  
Suddenly, a huge metallic head, rises from the ground, big enough, to fit 6 FatASS Blobbellas!  
  
Grunty shivers..  
  
Suddenly.. A huge body, resembling Gruntilda's original, rises out of the Ground!  
  
*All Over Isle Of Hags..*  
  
All on Ilse Of Hags "What the hell? Earthquake!"  
  
*Back at Spiral Mountail.*  
  
The body completely rises, and hovers above Grunty, and lands in front of her..  
  
The body's legs do a spilt, showing metal panties, and suddenly, the lower area in the panties begins to open up.. Then a bridge comes out of it and lands in front of Grunty! Out walk Mingella, Blobbella (with her cat), and a strange male shaped figure.  
  
"So it is true." says the male shaped figure with a wizard hat and a black jacket with sunglasses.  
  
Mingella walks up to the Grunty (who we know is a head) and puts Grunty's jaw back in place..  
  
"Ganondorf, a new boyfriend?" Grunty says questioned..  
  
"No, I'm your causin!" the male shaped figure says..  
  
"What?" Grunty still says questioned..  
  
"Your cousin Scrot!" he says, revealing his identity.  
  
"Well, knowing how bad you had a problem with the bear and bird, we thought you were dead.. Or really--" Mingella begins to say..  
  
"Insulting the Family!" Scrot adds for Mingella..  
  
"What?" The three girls ask..  
  
"Don't you see.. The family is known for our magic.. You three are ruining the family.. Not only is the family dying.. But Brentilda isn't even trying magic anymore, and is still better than you.. She quit in 1999!" Scrot says..  
  
"Okay.. Then why won't you do something.. Besides..I make the most money in the family." Grunty says..  
  
"And another thing, never use black magic heal spells, they ruin the body, thats why you got a boney body, destroyed by a pathetic bear and bird!" Scrot yells..  
  
"Enough.. Why not get this over with.." Blobbella says..  
  
"Okay.. She has a point. .Into the Haggyslut 2.." Scrot says..  
  
Mingella, Blobbella, and Scrot with Gruntilda in his hand walk up into the Haggyslut 2,and the doors close.. And then the machine goes back into the hole in Spiral Mountain!  
  
*Back at HailFire Peaks, Icy Side.*  
  
"Boy Boggy, this is the best Bear Babes DVD in history!" Banjo says with a big grin!  
  
"Banjo, don't you have anything better to do?" Tooty asks..  
  
"Um.. No, but why won't you go to Wumba's!" Banjo says, so his sister can go away.  
  
Tooty slams the door and leaves!  
  
*Back in the Haggyslut 2!*  
  
"Lets see if this bear is such a fit.." Scrot says.. While driving the Haggyslut 2..  
  
Then, Scrot presses a button on the controller and the Haggyslut 2 pops out, infront of Boggy's house..  
  
*Inside Boggy's igloo..*  
  
"Boggy.. We are gonna get some firewood.. This place is too cold.." Banjo says.  
  
"Well, okay.." Boggy says, keeping his eyes on T.V.  
  
"Don't forget me!" Kazooie says. Hopping into Banjo's backpack..  
  
Banjo uses the back door to find fire wood!  
  
*Back outside.*  
  
The HaggySlut 2 lower area opens up, making a bridge appear in front of door of Boggy's house..  
  
Scrot comes out, and knocks on the door..  
  
Boggy opens the door.  
  
"Who are you?" Boggy asks..  
  
"Are you related to, Banjo?" Scrot asks...  
  
"Well..Yes." Boggy says..  
  
"Just asking." Scrot replies.. As Boggy closes the door..  
  
Scrot walks up into the Haggyslut 2..And controls it to cover the hole it dug.. Then puts it on hover and Scrot jumps out!  
  
"Now to get this Damn insult to be fiction!" Scrot says, as he raises his hands..  
  
Suddenly, a Big Red,Nova Wave of Energy floats above Scrot..  
  
"Big deal.. I did that, its a pathetic spell!" Grunty says..  
  
"This is an upgrade!" Scrot says, telepathically to Gruntilda!  
  
*Inside the Icicle Grotto.*  
  
"Kazooie.. Did you..*Acho.* Find any firewood yet?" Banjo asks..  
  
"No...*cough.*" Kazooie replies.. Freezing to death..  
  
*Back outside Boggy's house.*  
  
Scrot's wave of energy grows bigger every second!  
  
"Now..This pathetic thing shall be done,and forgotten,FOREVER!" Scrot yells,as he backs away,and tosses his Big Ball Of Energy at the House,floating towards it,very slowly.  
  
"Mission finished.." Scrot says..As he walks into the Haggyslut 2,and then flies away with it!  
  
*Inside Boggy's house.*  
  
"Hmm..I wonder whats that noise?" Boggy asks to his family..  
  
THEN SUDDENLY,A HUGE EXPLOSION IS HEARD ALL OVER HAILFIRE PEAKS,as if a Nuclear Bomb hit!  
  
*The Next Day.*  
  
"What the?" Banjo says..As he walks up to where Boggy's Igloo used to be..  
  
"Are you sure you remember this is his house,Banjo?" Kazooie says..  
  
Mumbo runs up to Banjo..  
  
"I saw it all!" Mumbo says!  
  
"You did?" Banjo asks!  
  
"Yes,I saw another episode of The Simpsons!" Mumbo says!  
  
Banjo smacks his head..  
  
"I also saw a big explosion that looked like it came from here!" Mumbo mentioned..  
  
Wumba comes up to Banjo.  
  
"I saw it all, a big robotic slut machine came by, and a man with a wizard hat, black jacket, and sunglasses blew the house up, as if as if a Nuclear Bomb hit and exploded.." Wumba complains..  
  
"Oh.." Kazooie pretends to agree..  
  
"I suppose you cared because something happened to you to.." Kazooie says..  
  
"Yes.. Damn arsehole destroyed Tent!" Wumba says..  
  
"No wonder.. Built cheapily." Mumbo says.  
  
Wumba screams at Mumbo and punches him..  
  
"Why do you guys hate each other so much?" Banjo asks..  
  
"Never going to tell!" They both yell at Banjo..  
  
"Okay.. Forget it, lets see if Boggy and his family is still alive.." Banjo says..  
  
*1 hour of Digging in snow and ash later.*  
  
"Well.. Here is his family.." Banjo says..  
  
"Yeah, but they all are dead!" Mumbo says..  
  
"Oh well, he probally ran out of Jiggies, and other stuff!" Kazooie says happily..  
  
"You bitch!" Banjo yells! Choking Kazooie!  
  
"Bear be funny!" Mumbo says..  
  
Banjo smashes Kazooie into the snow, then Body Slams Kazooie..  
  
"I give up.. Stop it.. STOP IT!" Kazooie says.. Having a note on her beak..  
  
"Okay.. But don't say that again! Hey,whats this?" Banjo asks.. Then grabs the note from Kazooie..  
  
If you ever want to have your stupid pathetic island saved, and all your other pathetic animal furry loving shit, then give up, all your base belongs to GRUNTY! P.S. I didn't kill your pathetic Bear and Bird friends..Or atleast FatAss polar bear family!  
  
"What, oh no! Its Grunty!" Banjo yells..  
  
"Thats it, first, she changes my Body, then she Kidnaps Tooty --" Mumbo says..  
  
Tooty stands by Wumba..  
  
"Hello, like, I am right here.." Tooty says..  
  
"Then she rips up Cheato, kidnaps Jinjos, destroys Banjo's house, permantly kills all the Grey Jinjos that existed, then Blows up Banjo's friend sense childhood's house, then kills all of Banjo's best friend sense childhood's family!" Mumbo says..  
  
"Then she.. She is just a BITCH witch! SHE MUST PAY! AGAIN! Stupid bitch!" Mumbo yells..  
  
"Do you guys have to cause all the time?" Tooty asks..  
  
"Yes! They do, because the witch pissed them off.. Me too.." Wumba says, trying to stay calm.  
  
Suddenly, Boggy's soul rises from his body, in which is an angel.. Then the same for Mrs.Boggy, Groggy, and Soggy.  
  
"They sure are complete wrecks." Banjo says..  
  
"Well Banjo, looks like you are the last member of your family.." Kazooie says..  
  
"Wait a sec.. What about Lord Woo Feck Feck?" asks Kazooie..  
  
"You mean Fak Fak..I think he's lying about knowing my father.. And Tooty is a member of the family also, and why are you stating this after Boggy died?" Banjo says..  
  
"I want fries!" Angel Soggy says..  
  
"Sorry, but in this form, you can't eat.." Ms. Boggy says..  
  
"Why aren't we visiting the Grim Reaper?" Boggy asks..  
  
"As me, Mumbo know about magic, me think that a certain black magic was used to make your souls hang around on purpose, miserable forever." Mumbo says..  
  
"I want a burger! Please mom." Groggy angel says.  
  
"Don't bother son.. You won't ever eat again!" Boggy angel says..  
  
Suddenly, Moggy's soul begins to rise from his dead body, then becomes..  
  
"This really sucks! I was expecting more than just to float around!" says Devil Moggy..  
  
"Figures." Kazooie mumbles to herself seeing Devil Moggy..  
  
"Lets go tell Jingaling that Grunty is back.." Banjo says..  
  
"Okay.." Kazooie tries to agree with Banjo.. 


	2. Meeting Jingaling and Evacuation

Chapter 2: Meeting Jingaling, Evacuating the damn Island  
  
Banjo start running towards a Warp Pad, and warp to the Fire Side of HailFire Peaks..  
  
*Meanwhile.*  
  
"No. Not that bear and Bird! No water from you, go away!" Gobi says.. Then quickly exits HailFire Peaks..  
  
*Back At Our Main Characters.*  
  
"He was supposed to leave anyways." Banjo mummers.. As he leaves HailFire Peaks also..  
  
*1 hour later.. At Bottles' House.*  
  
"It sucks that the shortcut to Jinjo village is blocked off, and some arse destroyed all of Jamjar's hatches.." Banjo says just getting in..  
  
"Hey, my dad won the Kickball Tournament!" Speccy says..  
  
"Good for you, and one more thing, get rid of that hat, it just doesn't fit you!" Kazooie says..  
  
"Why do you say that?" Speccy (Bottles son) says..  
  
"Oh god, I just don't bloody beleive why you don't know.. Forget it." Kazooie replies.  
  
Banjo and Kazooie walk into Bottles' Daughter's room (forgot her name).  
  
"Thanks for using my dad's Amaze-o Goggles and saving his life." she says..  
  
"Yeah.. Whatever, just be happy you are more mature than your brother." Kazooie replies..  
  
Banjo and Kazooie walk into the dining room.. Seeing no-one.. Except maybe Klungo sleeping..  
  
"Lets wake him up!" Kazooie says..  
  
"Better not.." Banjo replies.  
  
Banjo and Kazooie walk up to Bottles' room, and see a door, that is locked, and hear noises..  
  
"Oh yeah, destroy the monster!" a female voice says.  
  
"Honey, thats not nice!" a male voice says..  
  
"Just shutup and have sex with me!" she says..  
  
"But we have enough kids, and I had enough sex!" the male replies..  
  
"What, are you saying that I'm no good?" the female asks..  
  
"No.. I'm saying that we have enough children. I like them, but 2 is too many.. I don't wanna all the sudden have up to 15 children because you are demanding sex!" the male voice replies..  
  
"Are you saying you hate me?" the female asks..  
  
"No honey, its just that you are bad in bed!" the male replies..  
  
SMACK!  
  
"I mean, how many times do I have to control your sexual urge for sex.. You need to learn that sex isn't always the answer, besides, I have a job thats more than having sex all day, just wanting more sexy sex in the job of sex, getting paid sex!" The male answers..  
  
Suddenly, the door opens, and Bottles gets kicked out, and the door closes and gets locked again..  
  
"Well Bottles.. Um.. Ah.. What going on?" Banjo asks..  
  
"Err.. Nothing good.." Bottles replies..  
  
Klungo wakes up..  
  
"I had a strange dream.. A big guy that got a name refering to Scrotum was helping Gruntilda kill all with a Porn Machine, that broadcasts porn that is really sick!" Klungo says, as everyone looks at Klungo confused..  
  
"Sure.. And after that, the porn would make people faint, get there body collected by a ray, and the soul would be left around for power. Or if the body was rejected.. It would make the guy a zombie." Kazooie adds, sarcastically..  
  
"Don't you guys have anything to do?" Bottles asks..  
  
"Yes.. We need to tell King Jingaling, that Grunty is at it again." Banjo says..  
  
"Fine, whatever, I'll go and lie, saying that I agree, just to be left alone." Bottle says..  
  
*At Jingaling's Throne Room.*  
  
After Banjo, Kazooie, Klungo, and Bottles enter Jingaling's Throne Room. Then Tooty, Wumba, and Mumbo also walk in..  
  
"Yo,wassup?" Jingaling asks..  
  
"Grunty is at it again for revenge." Everyone says...  
  
"No duh me homies! Those Jinjos of mine were kidnapped by those whitches again, but I heard that they made it away from them alive, but Gruntilda does care, and she'll find there locations automatically, or call Minjo's for back up!" King Jingaling says..  
  
"THEN CONFIRM TO EVERYONE TO GET THEIR ASSES OUT HERE,AND MOVE THERE ARSES TO ANOTHER PLACE,OUTSIDE ISLES OF HAGS!" They all yell at Jingaling..  
  
"Fine, just to make you all happy.." Jingaling says..  
  
*Meanwhile, at the Isle Of Hags, Grunty's old Tower.*  
  
"It seems that the bear and bird survived, and plan to make all on Hag Isle evacuate!" Mingella says, seeing the conversation in Dingpot..  
  
"So.. What have we got to lose?" Gruntilda the head says..  
  
"The only invention we made is the instant Pervert machine, its make you stronger, but oddly and makes you a pervert." Blobbella says..  
  
"Such as?" Grunty asks..  
  
"You'll be CUNTILDA instead of Gruntilda." Blobbella answers..  
  
"Oh god.. Being a pervert is not my way of seeking revenge, unless its against a pervert!" Gruntilda says..  
  
"Oh Dungpot, you useless thing, tell me the future of this place to go to, or I'll.." Grunty says..  
  
"I already know.. I already tried with Dingpot, we have to go to another area.. I'll tell you later." Scrot says..  
  
"Yes, infact, we have a new machine built.. Its SOM.. We will tell you about it later." Mingella adds..  
  
"Oh Dungpot, please tell me how to defeat Banjo and Kazooie and rule the world!" Grunty says..  
  
"Not telling.. I'm too tired!" Dingpot says, on purpose, not exposing what to do..  
  
"Then in our new location, you'll be dropped first like nothing, un-wanted, you stupid something." Grunty says, having more trouble with ryhmes..  
  
*At Isle Of Hags, Jingaling's thrown room.*  
  
"I'll tell all, Immediatly!" Jingaling says..  
  
"How?" Kazooie asks..  
  
Suddenly, a Micro Phone falls infront of Jingaling.. Jingaling taps it..  
  
"Ahem.. EVERYBODY! A NUCLEAR BOMB IS GOING TO HIT THE ISLAND AND BLOW IT BITS! GET OFF THIS HELLHOLE NOW! Or DIE!" Jingaling yells into the Micro Phone..  
  
"Like thats really gonna work!" Kazooie says..  
  
Suddenly, thousands of voices are heard.. And all the people on the Damn island evacuate immediatly!  
  
"Told ya it would work!" Jingaling says.. Packing his bags and leaving..  
  
"Okay.. I guess we should all head to Spiral Mountain." Banjo says, as everyone else in the room suddenly does..  
  
*At Spiral Mountain.*  
  
Thousands of People stand around. Stupidly. Waiting for an exit..  
  
"Great.. Now its crowded.. I think we should do something." Banjo says..  
  
"Mumbo say no!" Mumbo says..  
  
Mumbo then gets 3 Pieces of Cardboard and tries to make a house.  
  
"We are fine here." Mumbo says.. Then his crappy Card Board house gets struck by lightning, from nowhere..  
  
"How the hell did that happen?" Wumba asks.  
  
"Because I left my stick on lightning mode. I guess I'm screwed.." Mumbo answers..  
  
"I'll just go meet some-one for answers." Banjo says..  
  
Banjo quickly climbs the broken bridge . Then Enter's Gruntilda's old Lair.  
  
*Inside The Beaten-Up old Lair.*  
  
"Hmm.. Bear and Bird came back.. Had feeling.." Cheato says..  
  
"Say a cheat!" Kazooie yells..  
  
"Stop harassing me about cheats, I told you all I could, besides, your old cheats won't work anymore some reason, so most likely if I got new cheats, they still wouldn't work.. Besides, Grunty written cuss words on every page, and some sexual Language.." Cheato says..  
  
"Hmm.. I'm kinda stuck.. You see.. All people of Hag Isle need to evacuate.." says Banjo..  
  
"Hmm.. Password and explosive needed.. Go to beaten-up old house.." Cheato says..  
  
"Say the word "Misterpantsdoesanexplosivedance" and this Bomb will explode, destroying a weak section of wall and your old house." Cheato says..  
  
Suddenly, a Bomb magically appears in front of Cheato..  
  
"Use it wisely. And I can't use much magic at the moment, so thats the last Bomb I can make." Cheato says..  
  
Banjo picks up the Wall and House Disintegrating Bomb, and walks out with it.  
  
*Spiral Mountain.*  
  
"What the hell do you think you are doing Punk? That thing could explode and kill us all!" JamJars yells when he sees a Bomb in Banjo's hands.  
  
"Its only used to destroy walls." Banjo says..  
  
"I'm to lazy to help carry it Banjo.." Kazooie says, not wanting to use the broken and knows that she'll have to hold it..  
  
"Hey, DamnJackers! Catch!" Kazooie says, Tossing the Bomb at JamJars!  
  
"What the hell are you doing you damn punk! That could explode!" JamJars says, as he then Catches it and falls down..  
  
Banjo then just stupidly falls off and hits the Ground near Gruntilda's Lair..  
  
"Oww!" Banjo saws.. As Kazooie squawks..  
  
Banjo picks up the Bomb, and runs into his house, while avoiding contact with the people outside..  
  
*Inside Banjo's house..*  
  
Banjo goes up to where his Cooking supplies used to be, and then puts the Bomb on the Ground..  
  
"Hmm..MisterPantieslikesexandwanties!" Banjo says..  
  
"Wrong you stupid bear!" The Bomb says..  
  
"Hmm.. Must have a built in voice.. Well.. MissesPiedoestheexplosivedance!" Banjo says..  
  
"Wrong you bloody idiot, say the damn password." The Bomb says..  
  
"Misterpantsdoesanexplosivedance." Kazooie says...  
  
"Correct, now get your *@%IN ASS out of here in 10 seconds, or die!" The Bomb says..  
  
Banjo and Kazooie run out..  
  
"Those damn fools really believe I'd blow up that quick.. oh well.." The Bomb says..  
  
*In Spiral Mountain.*  
  
Banjo runs up to the rest of the Group..  
  
"5..4..3..2..1.." Everyone mummers..  
  
Then suddenly.. The Bomb explodes, destroying Banjo's house, and making a secret passage to a new area..  
  
"Ew ah ew.. Now I can be Mayor again!" Jolly says, as he runs into the secret passage..  
  
Every other character in existence runs in also with there fancy Packages and other crap, even houses, all running on Banjo and Kazooie as a door mat!  
  
"Oh *@%!" Kazooie says..  
  
"Come on Kazooie.. Lets just enter the stupid new area the author made up in less than 30 seconds!" Banjo says, then they both enter the passage to the new area..  
  
To..Be..Coninued.. 


	3. JiggyWiggy is more than retired,Disciple...

Chapter 3 : Bribing JiggyWiggy..  
  
(Banjo enters the area)  
  
*Meanwhile In The HaggySlut 2, above the Island OddBallness.*  
  
"Well.. I haven't got all day.." Grunty says..  
  
"And dump the dungpot now!" Grunty yells..  
  
Mingella presses a button on one of the controls, and then, Dingpot falls out of the HaggySlut 2.  
  
*Outside of HaggySlut 2,Island OddBallness.*  
  
"Oh well.. Mistreated some more, as expected." Dingpot says, as he falls to the ground, making a mess of Stew in the area he lands.  
  
*Back In The HaggySlut 2.*  
  
"Lets go to the new Castle now.. Instead of wasting our time!" Scrot says..  
  
"Yes.. Lets not give that Bear and Bird more time, cause if we do so again..They will do the same as last time.." Blobbella says..  
  
"Put it in hyper drive, cous.." Mingella insists.  
  
"Alright.." Scrot says.. As he put the gear in high-speed..  
  
Then, the HaggySlut 2, blasts off really fast, leaving a Blinking star as if it somewhat teleported..  
  
*Back in the Passage to Island OddBallness.*  
  
Banjo runs in the Passage, and finds a Muscular Jinjo on the Ground.. Flattened, that's the color yellow, with sharp teeth.  
  
"Hey, I think we should check it out.. Maybe we'll get a Jiggy, I mean, we should get a Jiggy!" Kazooie says..  
  
"Okay.." Banjo says, agreeing with Kazooie, and then walks up to the Muscular Jinjo.  
  
"Are you okay?" Banjo asks..  
  
"FEED ME!" the Muscular Jinjo says..  
  
"Okay.." Kazooie says.. Then spits out 5 eggs into the Muscular Jinjo's Mouth..  
  
The Muscular Jinjo gets up, and inflates himself to normal.  
  
"Thanks. In return, I'll help you." The Muscular Jinjo says..  
  
"Thanks.." Banjo says..  
  
Suddenly, "HERE COMES TROUBLE..." music goes on  
  
"What the? A fight.. Ah for feckinsakes! We just helped you!" Kazooie says..  
  
"Well.. Let me see how strong you are." Muscular Jinjo says..  
  
"I wouldn't wonder.. With teeth like that.. You must be an enemy.." Banjo says.. Noticing the sharp teeth.  
  
Yellow Electric Muscular Jinjo  
  
(An Electrical Jinjo with muscles that is a Friend or Foe?)  
  
"Ready.. 3.. 2.. 1.. FIGHT YOU FREAKS!" The Muscular Jinjo yells..  
  
(Muscular Jinjo begins to Levitate!)  
  
"Is that suppose to make you special?" Kazooie says..  
  
"Not really.." the Muscular Jinjo says..  
  
"ELECTRICAL, CHARGE, ATTACK!" the guy yells!  
  
"What the hell?" Kazooie yells!  
  
Suddenly, the Enemy Sparkles!  
  
"Thats it, I'm gonna pelt you with Eggs!" Kazooie says..  
  
Kazooie then spits out Blue Eggs, and they all hit the Electrified Muscular Jinjo!  
  
"I feel it.. The power." he says..  
  
"I think you are making him stronger!" Banjo suggests!  
  
"Shut-up!" The enemy yells, then headbutts toward Banjo really fast, electrically shocking him! Then Banjo falls on the ground..  
  
"Come on! You beat Gruntilda Twice, and you guys can't beat me!" the Muscular Jinjo says..  
  
Banjo gets up.. Then the Muscular Jinjo electrically charges again..  
  
"Well, if damaging Eggs give you energy! Then how about none-damaging eggs!" Kazooie says, spitting Ice Eggs at the Muscular Jinjo..  
  
Muscular Jinjo suddenly freezes, having Ice around him.  
  
"What? No! I Must move!" the Muscular Jinjo says..  
  
Kazooie tosses out clockwork Egg, then it hits the ground and the shell breaks, with clockwork Kazooie on the ground.  
  
"Hello Kazooie! What shall I assist you with?" the ClockWork Kazooie robot says..  
  
"Kill that fecked Jinjo!" Kazooie yells!  
  
"Okay master Kazooie!" the clockwork Robot replies.  
  
The clockwork Kazooie Robot runs up to the Muscular Jinjo, and explodes! Breaking the Ice and the Muscular Jinjo falls to the Ground!  
  
"What? Well, I'll try it again!" the Muscular Jinjo says..  
  
The Muscular Jinjo electrically charges up.  
  
Kazooie spits out an Ice Egg, then Muscular Jinjo freezes as usual.. Kazooie hits Muscular Jinjo with a ClockWork Kazooie again..  
  
"Not working right... Hmm.. New move, yes!" Muscular Jinjo insists!  
  
"Well, we are prepared!" Kazooie says!  
  
Muscular Jinjo runs up to Banjo, picks him up, spins him around, and throws him to a wall!  
  
Banjo smashes to the wall and slides down..  
  
Banjo gets back up..  
  
Kazooie pelts another Ice Egg and Freezes the Muscular Yellow Jinjo..  
  
Kazooie pelts a Grenade Egg at Muscular Jinjo this time, breaking the Ice and hurting the yellow Muscular Jinjo.. Muscular Jinjo gets back up..  
  
"All right, time for Powerful Move!" the Yellow Muscular Jinjo says..  
  
"THUNDERSTORM!" Yellow Muscular Jinjo yells. Which nothing happens. "Thunderstorm...Please.." he says, still having no results..  
  
"Is that damn useless move suppose to hurt us?" Kazooie says sarcastically..  
  
"It only works outdoors.." The enemy replies..  
  
"But enough.. Next Move.. ZAPPER!" the Jinjo yells! Spreading his hand and fingers wide open, then bolts of electricity come out from them!  
  
"I'll electrocute you!" the yellow Muscular Jinjo yells!  
  
Kazooie pelts another Ice Egg, but it gets zapped by the Jinjo.  
  
"That's it! Wonderwing!" Kazooie yells!  
  
Kazooie then covers Banjo's face and Kazooie's wings begin to glow yellow!  
  
"What the?" the Yellow Muscular Jinjo says..  
  
Kazooie and Banjo walk through all the Electric Bolts..  
  
"What, this isn't happening!" he says..  
  
"Oh yes it is!" Kazooie says!  
  
Kazooie and Banjo go up to the Yellow Muscular Jinjo!  
  
"How many Feathers left Kazooie?" Banjo asks..  
  
"3.." Kazooie answers..  
  
They run up to the yellow Muscular Jinjo, but he is unaffected by the move.  
  
"Banjo.. It doesn't affect him!" Kazooie says..  
  
Suddenly.. Kazooie runs out of Gold Feathers, and can't use the move anymore..  
  
"Hahahaha! You can't beat me!" the Muscular Jinjo says..  
  
Kazooie spits out another Grenade Egg and the Muscular Jinjo falls to the ground..  
  
-Stupid Battle End..-  
  
The Yellow Muscular Jinjo gets back up..  
  
"Well.. You defeated me..." the Yellow Muscular Jinjo said..  
  
"Yeah so.. What about a damn Jiggy or something?" Kazooie says..  
  
"I can't offer you any Jiggies, but what I can offer you is more better.." the Yellow Muscular Jinjo says..  
  
"Yeah.. Well then, what the hell is it?" Kazooie asks..  
  
"We will help you defeat Gruntilda and her family. But there's more, we will help you in your quest if needed.. You can summon us during battles, except the battles with other Muscular Jinjos.." the Muscular Jinjo replies..  
  
"You seem familiar..." Banjo says..  
  
"Hmm.. Maybe because I was once in Banjo-Tooie.. But RareWare didn't want me to take part in it." the muscular Yellow Jinjo replies..  
  
"Oh.. Yes that.. How about some more information.." Banjo says..  
  
"Well. Around 3 1/2 years ago, Grunty found all the Muscular Jinjo, and banished them to out of Isle Of Hags. Its a long story.. We'll tell you more later." the Muscular Yellow Jinjo says.  
  
"What do you mean we?" Banjo asks..  
  
"I mean, I do not know the full story, there are more of use Muscular Jinjos, all look the same as me, but different colors and powers. Grunty also put a spell on all of us when she remembered we were in this area. You'll find one of us in each level." the yellow Muscular Jinjo says.  
  
"That reminds me. What happened to the Jinjonator?" Banjo asks..  
  
"Little can be remember about him. Rumors are that all the Minjos captured him. The Minjos aren't really related to Grunty, but they are our sworn enemies, and will do anything to stop them, so they teamed up with Grunty!" Muscular Yellow Jinjo says..  
  
"That's nice.. How about more of a reward than battle back-up?" Kazooie asks..  
  
"Oh yes.. When you find each of us, you will get more battle back-up!" The Yellow Muscular Jinjo says.  
  
"How about answering you ASSHOLE!" Kazooie yells.  
  
"Geesh. Don't have to get vulgar, but I'll tell you more and give you something, to call each of us in battle, or use us just outside of battle for certain uses, just call my number, but first you'll need a phone, and you can only use us once per battle, and calling us to assist you outside of battle costs Magic." the Muscular Jinjo says..  
  
"What is it?" Banjo asks..  
  
"555-Electric, that's 555-35328742." the Yellow Muscular Jinjo says..  
  
"We don't have a Cell-Phone!" Banjo says..  
  
"That's too bad." the Yellow Muscular Jinjo says.  
  
"That's it! Either give us a reward, or DIE YOU *@%ER!" Kazooie yells.  
  
"Well.. All I have left are these Electrical Eggs." Muscular Jinjo says holding yellow eggs in his hands.  
  
"Now you are talking!" Kazooie says happily, as she grabs the Yellow Egg from Muscular Yellow Jinjo's hands.  
  
"These Eggs can be used to power up machines and electrocute enemies, killing them or at least something. The only problem is you need a Magic Meter, I'm sorry." Muscular Yellow Jinjo says.  
  
"Oh well. As long as it's added to our collection." Kazooie says happily, as they are put in Banjo's back-pack..  
  
The Yellow Muscular Jinjo levitates and then disappears!  
  
"Well.. I guess we should continue this adventure Kazooie." Banjo says..  
  
(Banjo and Kazooie leave and go exit the tunnel to Island OddBallness)  
  
(Suddenly, Devil Moggy floats from the entrance of the tunnel)  
  
"What? Unfair! I want my revenge on that fecking Bear and Bird! They hit me in the carnival! I want revenge!" Devil Moggy says to himself..  
  
"Oh well.. I'll get them later, I'm too tired now." Devil Moggy says. Then floats towards the ground and rests.  
  
*Island OddBallness , JiggyWiggy's new Temple Area.*  
  
(Banjo and Kazooie enter the new area.)  
  
"Look! Its JiggyWiggy's Old Temple! Let's annoy him!" Kazooie says.  
  
"Kazooie.. We only need him to go to a new area.." Banjo says.  
  
(They walk up to the Temple)  
  
"Hey.. How many Jiggies needed?" Kazooie asks.  
  
"None really.. The place was just moved here." JiggyWiggy's Disciple says.  
  
(Banjo and Kazooie walk into JiggyWiggy's Temple)  
  
*JiggyWiggy's Temple.*  
  
Banjo and Kazooie walk up to JiggyWiggy.  
  
"Hello Banjo.. Sorry, but I'm retiring." JiggyWiggy says..  
  
"Why, you said you are the great JiggyWiggy, remember, GREAT POWER of JiggyWiggy?" Kazooie says.  
  
"Cranky retired, he still has power left, but that's not the point. I'm, wait, Cranky retired, that does have a point to what I'm about to say, I just too old to work. I still have power, but you need something to cheer me up." JiggyWiggy says.  
  
"Um, we are out of Jiggies." Banjo says.  
  
"That's not it." JiggyWiggy replies.  
  
"Well, I guess we should leave then." Banjo says.  
  
"Wait, behold the power of JiggyWiggy!" JiggyWiggy says.  
  
"I thought you couldn't do it." Kazooie says.  
  
"Well.. This isn't much power, it's opening all parts of Island OddBallness." JiggyWiggy says.  
  
JiggyWiggy gets out a Controller, and presses a button!  
  
*Meanwhile, Outside Of JW's Temple.*  
  
A section of wall disappears.  
  
"Geesh, technology these days." JW's disciple says.  
  
*In JW's temple.*  
  
"What did you do?" Banjo asks.  
  
"I just told you.. I opened up the rest of the island for you, or at least to the new Jinjo village." JW says..  
  
"Good, now I guess we should go now." Kazooie says.  
  
"Bye bear and bird." JiggyWiggy says.  
  
(They leave)  
  
*Back Outside JiggyWiggy's Temple.*  
  
"Seems JiggyWiggy is getting too old." JW's disciple says.  
  
"Oh well." Kazooie says..  
  
(Banjo and Kazooie head towards the new Jinjo Village)  
  
*New Jinjo Village.*  
  
(Banjo and Kazooie find some money with eyes on it)  
  
"Woah, is that really money?" Banjo asks  
  
"Oh course! Now here I am, ya Ginger BASTARD!" The money replies.  
  
Banjo grabs the money and stuffs it in his shorts.  
  
"Well, its $500, I definitely think it's not enough to buy a new house, but it could be used." Banjo says  
  
"All right, now lets go to Jingaling's Throne Room." Kazooie says  
  
(They spot the place and enter it.)  
  
*JINGALING's THRONE ROOM.*  
  
"Yo! Wassup guys!" Jingaling says.  
  
"Something strange, this place isn't different." Banjo says.  
  
"Well, seeing I'm king and all, I could get a chopper easily to move this place into Island OddBallness." Jingaling says.  
  
"We really need something to make JiggyWiggy happy." Kazooie says.  
  
"Oh, well, how about 999,000 bucks?" Jingaling says.  
  
"Really?" Banjo says..  
  
"If you promise to give it to JiggyWiggy, but this may not be enough." Jingaling answers.  
  
"We have a sack of $500, in which can curse at people." Kazooie says.  
  
"Hmm.. Still not enough, find an extra $500, cause this is all I can give him." Jingaling says.  
  
"If we deliver that to JiggyWiggy, we will?" Kazooie asks.  
  
"You'll be able to go to a level, and I'll give you something in return!" Jingaling says.  
  
"I don't know.. Maybe we should spend it on a new house." Kazooie says..  
  
"Please deliver it, in the name of all the Jinjos and people, please, be my homie!" Jingaling says.  
  
"Are you calling me a homosexual?" Banjo asks.  
  
"No, I mean, be my bro., help me out, be a good person!" Jingaling says..  
  
"Okay.." Kazooie says..  
  
(They leave)  
  
"Great guys, I hope." Jingaling says, sort of unhappy.  
  
*New Jinjo Village.*  
  
"Where are we gonna find some more money?" Banjo asks..  
  
"Maybe the houses?" Kazooie says, trying to think an answer.  
  
(They walk in a white Jinjo house)  
  
"Nothing here." Banjo says inside.  
  
(They walk out and walk into a red Jinjo house.)  
  
"Still nothing." Banjo says.  
  
(They walk out into a Blue Jinjo house)  
  
"Oh for god damn sakes! Where the hell is it!" Kazooie says.  
  
(They leave it and walk into the Orange Jinjo house.)  
  
*Orange Jinjo house.*  
  
"Looks, there's the money!" Kazooie yells!  
  
"Who the hell are you? OH NO! You ain't the Boss of me!" the money yells!  
  
The money begins to run around in circles.  
  
"Too bad!" Kazooie yells!  
  
Kazooie spits an Ice Egg directly at the Money, and it freezes.  
  
Banjo grabs the money covered in Ice.  
  
"Cooolllddd.." Banjo says, shivering.  
  
Kazooie spits a Fire Egg at the money, also hitting Banjo's hand.  
  
"Oww." Banjo yells..  
  
"Sorry." Kazooie replies.  
  
"No. Don't, don't, don't be a commoner you *@%ING ASS--" the money almost says, before being shoved into Banjo's shorts.  
  
"1 million bucks! That's just enough to make JiggyWiggy happy!" Banjo says.  
  
(They exit the house and head toward JW's temple.)  
  
*Inside JiggyWiggy's Temple.*  
  
"Hey, JiggyWiggy! We got a Million Bucks!" Banjo yells to JiggyWiggy.  
  
"Million bucks! Yippee, I can retire!" JiggyWiggy says happily!  
  
Banjo gives the money to JiggyWiggy..  
  
"Well.. Seeing this is good. Now behold the power of JiggyWiggy!" he yells..  
  
JiggyWiggy raises his arms and his Jigsaw Shaped Crystal forms a beam!  
  
*At the Dump of Island OddBallness.*  
  
The beam hits a door and it opens, and a sign appears on top, saying "To GHETTO CITY!"  
  
"Thanks JiggyWiggy." Banjo says.  
  
"No, thank you." JiggyWiggy says, counting his money.  
  
JiggyWiggy turns on his TV  
  
(Banjo and Kazooie leave.)  
  
*Meanwhile, at Tower Of Hag-Witch-Wizard.*  
  
The HaggySlut 2 lands on the Tower.. The WinkyBunion family members walk out (except Grunty, she is held by Scrot).  
  
They all group go down stairs, and then go behind their new machine..  
  
Blobbella puts Grunty (who is still a Head) on a Pillow.  
  
"What the, another machine, a big ray gun, with controls, just like BOB, I'm guessing this is gonna be a failure too, sob.." Grunty says.  
  
"Will you just be patient.. And let us explain.." Mingella says..  
  
Blobbella lets go of her cat.  
  
"Oh.. All right, but tell me what's different this time!" Grunty says.  
  
"SOM is what the machine is!" Blobbella says.  
  
"Why is it called SOM?" Grunty asks..  
  
"Let our fat sister finish." Mingella says..  
  
"Its called SOM because it's SICKENED-OUT-MACHINE. Built by me, Mingy, and Scrot." Blobbella says.  
  
"It takes life force and Body from everything that watches TV." Mingella adds.  
  
"Stores body and life force in shower head, can sprout out, but close the shower curtains." Blobbella adds.  
  
"Enough about that.. The machine takes control over all Broadcasting networks in an area, making all the channels only broadcast scary porn of doom! Freaking out the person some much, he or she faints, and can't move. This baby will then be ready for the secondary function, auto-aim and destroy. Making a clone of the person, and taking the real body's life force, doing so will not even let the real body have a chance of being a zombie, because the cloning process burns all the cells of the real body, completely destroying it, as if the Grim Reaper really came. Then you can be that be that person or just walk around with the body, due to its selection and shower head." Scrot says.  
  
"What if I DON'T want the body." Grunty says.  
  
"Just don't press anything, you want its life force tho, so you can have your original body, and the more life force, the more sexier the body! To have the body, press Collect." Scrot adds.  
  
"Sexy? That's what I wanted earlier.. Yes!" Grunty adds.  
  
"In order to get the sexy body of sexy sex sex sexiness of all the sexiest bodies that ever existed to be the most sexy of sexy, you must collect lots of life force." Mingella adds.  
  
"An evil, sick, perverted, and heartless plan, I like it! How long will it take for me to get the body of all sexiness!" Grunty says.  
  
"Well, knowing your original body, it will take an unknown time. The machine maybe able to use 2 blasts for a short period of time, but after the second blast, it takes charging." Mingella  
  
"Charging? Fix it! Fix it now!" Grunty says.  
  
"All machines will take charging.. But we can help fix it to become faster." Scrot adds.  
  
"Well, okay then!" Grunty says.  
  
"Seeing that this thing is charged for two shots, pick your target." Scrot adds.  
  
"Well, if I remember correctly, that jerk JiggyWiggy was the reason Banjo and Kazooie were able to get me last time. That jerk, using my original gold. In fact, that arsehole JiggyWiggy opened up Ghetto City for that stupid Bear and Bird, well, its time to make him have scared!" Grunty says happily.  
  
Blobbella locks on JiggyWiggy.  
  
"Look, he has a TV, perfect!" Grunty says.  
  
Blobbella goes up to the machine and presses broadcast scary porn.  
  
Eye then pop out on top of the machine.  
  
"What the hell?" Grunty says.  
  
"Enable to protect the machine from going into others hands, we decided to put on those eyes, to let the machine know who is operating it, so now, if someone-else decides to use it, the machine will not operate." Scrot says..  
  
"Okay, now lets blast the jerk!" Grunty says.  
  
The fans go on, and then the machine's gadgets go on and light up. Then the machine, shoots a giant blast!  
  
*At JiggyWiggy's Temple.*  
  
"Funny TV!" JiggyWiggy says.  
  
Mr.Pants (stick figure guy in red underpants, with mustache and hat) keeps hitting a geek with a fish on the TV..  
  
"Funny! Hahaha!" JiggyWiggy laughs, while eating yogurt.  
  
Suddenly a beam hits JiggyWiggy's TV..  
  
"What?" JiggyWiggy says.  
  
"Oh well." JiggyWiggy says..  
  
Suddenly, the TV goes black.  
  
"What? NO!" JiggyWiggy says.  
  
Words appear on the TV , they are "We interrupt this senseless program to bring you something special!"  
  
"What could be more special?" JiggyWiggy wonders.  
  
Suddenly, the TV shows pictures of naked bodies!  
  
"What the?" JiggyWiggy says..  
  
The bodies on TV begin to move..  
  
"This isn't right.. I want Mr. Pants." JiggyWiggy says.  
  
The bodies on TV then turn gray, with mushrooms on them.  
  
"Where is my hurl bag?" JiggyWiggy says  
  
The bodies on TV begin to grow pimples and warts on them..  
  
"That's it.. Time to turn off TV" JiggyWiggy says.  
  
JiggyWiggy goes up to the TV and presses the Off Button.  
  
"What.. It won't go off!" JiggyWiggy says..  
  
The bodies then get shit on them!  
  
"Make it stop! Off!" JiggyWiggy yells while pressing the Off button non- stop!  
  
Then the bodies get *censored!!!!!!!!!!* Too scary to tell.  
  
JiggyWiggy falls to floor fainted, with barf next to him, then his money packs escape from his pockets..  
  
*Meanwhile, but at Tower Of Hag-Witch-Wizard.*  
  
"Ha ha! Look at the pathetic fool! He's just laying on the ground! With X's in his eyes! I'd like his body!" Grunty says.  
  
Blobbella presses collect!  
  
The machine then shots out another ray!  
  
*Back at JW's Temple.*  
  
The ray hits JiggyWiggy's body, sucking every bit of life force and JiggyWiggy's body burns up!  
  
The ray disappears and JiggyWiggy's body becomes black as charcoal.  
  
"I didn't like him anyways.. Greedy bastard!" the money says.  
  
JiggyWiggy's Disciple runs in.  
  
"Woah.. Looks like he is retired.." JiggyWiggy's Disciple says.  
  
The Disciple gets close to JiggyWiggy, and some reason becomes evil.  
  
"Now all his money is mine! Yes!" JiggyWiggy's Disciple says evilly.  
  
*Back at Tower of Hag-Witch-Wizard.*  
  
"Well the jerk is dead now! And I can run around in a clone of his body whenever I want!" Grunty says..  
  
"SOM was successful, and you were right." Mingella says.  
  
"Ah yes.. Now lets have more fun!" Grunty says.  
  
"The bear and bird will have to struggle to get here, the Island is full of enemies who cuss and harass people before harm!" Scrot says.  
  
"Blobbella, fix the machine!" Mingella says.  
  
Blobbella gets out a blowtorch and safety goggles, then goes toward the machine and tries to make it better.  
  
"Now, lets see how the bear and bird struggle to get up here! With perverted enemies!" Grunty says.  
  
"Muah hahahaahahaha!" Everyone laughs, even Blobbella's cat, but not Blobbella herself..  
  
*Back outside JiggyWiggy's Temple.*  
  
"Woah.. That looked like a blast from BOB." Kazooie says..  
  
"Let's check it out." Banjo says.  
  
(Banjo and Kazooie enter JiggyWiggy's Temple.)  
  
*Inside JiggyWiggy's Temple.*  
  
"What happened?" Banjo asks.  
  
"He is dead.. Completely, and the TV blew-up!" the Disciple of JiggyWiggy says.  
  
"Can we have the money back?" Kazooie says!  
  
"NO YOU *@%IN A$$HOLES! IT'S MINE! ALL MINE!" the Disciple of JiggyWiggy says evilly.. Then gets out Tommy Gun and Cigar..  
  
"What's going on?" Banjo asks..  
  
"I'll tell you what's going on. The money is mine! All mine! Now get out! Or I'll shoot you!" JiggyWiggy's disciple says evilly!  
  
JiggyWiggy's disciple pulls the trigger of his Tommy Gun!  
  
"Let's get out of here Banjo!" Kazooie yells.  
  
(They exit while the Tommy Gun bullets trail their steps.)  
  
"And don't come back! In the name of GRUNTILDA!" the Desciple of JiggyWiggy evilly yells.  
  
*Jingaling's Throne Room.*  
  
"Well.. Did he get the million bucks?" Jingaling says.  
  
"Yes.. But he died, and his Disciple became evil, I don't know why, must have been evil the whole time." Kazooie says.  
  
"Sure, but I like the joke Kazooie!" Jingaling says.  
  
"No, its true!" Banjo says.  
  
"What? Then, why?" Jingaling says..  
  
"Well, we saw a huge laser like blast, and it seemed to kill JiggyWiggy, and after he died, his Disciple became evil." Banjo says..  
  
"But we opened the level Ghetto City." Kazooie says.  
  
"Great.. This is bad.. Really bad. I'm next." Jingaling says..  
  
"Then don't give us a Jiggy or help us, or something like that, besides, Grunty found you useless." Kazooie says.  
  
"Oh well.. It doesn't matter anyways, but all of us evacuated Island Of Hags for nothing.." Jingaling says sadly.  
  
"Wait.. You didn't evacuate for nothing, aren't there any, Jinjo gods?" Banjo asks..  
  
"You mean the Jinjo protecters, Muscular Jinjo with odd powers.. They were all taken away before you had a chance to meet them, and infected with a spell from Grunty.. There was also Jinjonator, but he was mostly taken hostage by the Minjonator, from what I heard." Jingaling says..  
  
"Wait.. We saved one today!" Kazooie says..  
  
"He was runover by all the people from Isle of Hags." Banjo says..  
  
"We defeated him, and he said his Phone Number." Kazooie says.  
  
"Hmm.. Phone number.. I have a cell-phone." Jingaling says, then gets it out..  
  
Banjo grabs the phone and dials the number..  
  
"Get over here." Banjo says on the phone..  
  
Suddenly, the phone short-circuits, and the Yellow Muscular Jinjo pops out of it.  
  
"We only need you for a discussion with Jingaling.." Banjo says..  
  
"Look, I don't know what's going on except Grunty is getting revenge, and has a new machine." Jingaling says..  
  
"Oh.. Well, lets say this, Grunty has a new machine that kills people and turns other evil." the Yellow Muscular Jinjo says.  
  
"Also, what's with the teeth?" Jingaling asks, while noticing the Yellow Muscular Jinjo's fang like teeth.  
  
"We always had teeth like this." the Yellow Muscular Jinjo says..  
  
"Anyways, if JiggyWiggy is dead, how will all areas be accessed?" Jingaling says..  
  
"Jiggy Pondums exist. They will open up new areas, though they will require help from me and my friends to get to." the Yellow Muscular Jinjo says.  
  
"Well, lets move on before the great depression." Jingaling says..  
  
The Yellow Muscular Jinjo leaves.  
  
"You will find assistance and other levels I'm guessing.. So please, while you are at it, save the other Jinjos." Jingaling says.  
  
"Oh, all right. Now which way is to the dump of this place? And how can we get magic?" Kazooie says..  
  
"The dump is east of this area! I don't know what this damn magic is! Just keep my cell-phone, sense that's all I can give you, now go, go save all the citizens!" Jingaling says..  
  
(Banjo & Kazooie leave)  
  
*Jinjo Village.*  
  
"Which way is east?" Kazooie asks.  
  
"I'm don't know, just follow the smell of stink." Banjo says, as he sees clouds of odor.  
  
Banjo and Kazooie walk up to the clouds of odor.  
  
"Stink, smells like some-one crapped in a toilet without flushing." Kazooie says.  
  
They follow the smell and come to a gate.  
  
"Stupid gate." Kazooie says, then spits out a Grenade Egg!  
  
The Grenade Explodes on the gate and the gate breaks into pieces..  
  
(They walk past the area the Gate was)  
  
*Island OddBallness , Dump.*  
  
(Banjo and Kazooie enter the are)  
  
"Hey, can you help me?" Canary Mary says.  
  
"Oh no.. It's the bird from hell!" Kazooie says.  
  
"Look, if you help me, I'll give you a Jiggy, just help me!" Canary Mary says.  
  
"A JIGGY! Alright then, lets help you!" Kazooie says.  
  
"I need to have sex! Now!" Canary Mary says.  
  
"Hell no! If you put it that way, we'll just kill you for it." Kazooie says..  
  
"Just kidding, all I really need is sheet of paper!" Canary Mary says.  
  
Banjo gets out paper from his Book Bag.  
  
"I was just kidding again!" Canary Mary says.  
  
"Thats it! You evil BITCH, one more time, and I'll--" Kazooie says, thinking of what to do.  
  
"Heh heh.. I'll give you the Jiggy just for seeing you.. Sorry, it's in Ghetto City." Canary Mary says.  
  
Suddenly, a Golden Jiggy appears near the Exit/Entrance for Ghetto City.  
  
"Bye!" Canary Mary says.. As she leaves the dump and enters the entrance for Ghetto city.  
  
"OddBall is what she is." Kazooie says.  
  
Banjo and Kazooie enter the entrance to Ghetto City 


	4. GHETTO CITY, Tooty kidnapped, Pimps...

Well, its been confirmed, Profiles are back..  
  
Banjo  
  
Age- Well, in Banjo-Tooie, Banjo hit puberty, I'm gonna say 19 for this story.  
  
Species- Brown Honey Bear  
  
Gender- Male  
  
Description- Wears Yellow Shorts with a black belt, blue eyes, black nose, has a shark tooth necklace, and has a blue back-pack.. Even transformed into different objects, Banjo still contains his Blue Back-Pack, and his black belt, but depending on his transformation, his yellow shorts may be jeans, pants, boxers, or something I didn't come up with..  
  
Uses- Backpack, Cell-Phone, Punches, perhaps weapons..  
  
Good At- Not pissing enemies off like Kazooie, some others I forgot..  
  
Likes- Honey maybe.. His stuff..  
  
Dislikes- Kazooie cursing, people insulting his family, others are personal things..  
  
Occupation- Depends on Transformation, but mainly, he is an Adventurer..  
  
Home Village- Spiral Mountain.  
  
Games- Diddy Kong Racing, Banjo-Kazooie, Banjo-Tooie, and Banjo-Kazooie: Grunty's Revenge.  
  
Personality- Mainly friendly. And a few times like Jhonny Bravo..  
  
Information- Banjo started out in Diddy Kong Racing trying to help defeat WizPig, getting a letter from Diddy Kong, and Friends with Conker sense childhood. Some strange reason, when Kazooie hatched from her egg, she immediately jumped in Banjo's back-pack.. Why, I don't know, ask Rare.. Of course, Gruntilda the witch lived near Banjo's house, Banjo had no-idea anyone would live in that castle he saw, it was just to odd.. Later, Gruntilda was talking to Dingpot, saying how sexy she was. "Oh Dingpot, dungpot by the bench, who is the sexiest, lust-making wench?" "Err. There is this girl." Dingpot said..  
  
"What, you must be lying, this is something I'm not buying." Grunty replied.. "Well its true, its Tooty, the nicest, prettiest girl, I'm not lying to you!" Dingpot replies.. Then Grunty gets mad, steals Tooty, and Banjo and Kazooie have to save her after learning moves from Bottles. Klungo put Tooty in the beauty stealing machine. Mumbo was there to transform Banjo to help get the job done quick and get Jiggies, Jinjos, and other crap. After Banjo finally gets to the top, saves Tooty, and meets Grunty again. He fights her, frees Jinjos, and then frees Jinjonator, Grunty gets smashed off her tower and crushed by a giant rock.. She was stuck for 2 years.. Klungo, for 2 years, tried to free her and gave up (Banjo-Tooie wise, not GameBoy Advanced's Banjo-Kazooie: Grunty's Revenge) , Grunty destroys Banjo's house after freed by her sisters, and Banjo gets revenge, because Mumbo said so and demanded.. After beating Grunty again, Grunty's body was destroyed and left as a head (no skin) .. Nuff said.. Banjo's parents are unknown.. Tooty is Banjo's sister, and lives with Kazooie..  
  
  
  
Chapter 4 Part 1: Ghetto City, First Regular Jinjo encountered.  
  
*In Ghetto City, the Streets.*  
  
A big idiotic Canary lands near her Jiggy.  
  
(Banjo and Kazooie enter the Town through a card board box)  
  
"Who's idea was it to make a cardboard box to be used as our Level Exit/Entrance?" Kazooie complains.  
  
"Forget it Kazooie." Banjo says.  
  
Banjo and Kazooie walk up to Canary Mary.  
  
"Look.. Free Jiggy, just for meeting you, I only wanted to see a familar!" Canary Mary says.  
  
"Shut-up and give it to us!" Kazooie demands.  
  
"Okay.." Canary Mary replies, then gives the Jiggy to Banjo and Kazooie!  
  
"New Jiggy.. Blah blah blah.." Kazooie says.  
  
"Guh-huh!" Banjo says..  
  
Kazooie takes the Jiggy out of Banjo's hand puts it in the blue backpack.  
  
Jiggies: 1..  
  
"Okay.. I'll whatch TV now!" Canary Mary says to get Banjo and Kazooie away..  
  
Canary Mary goes inside a Garbage Can and turns on a crappy TV.  
  
"Hey look Kazooie! Its Pawno's Shop!" Banjo says!  
  
Banjo and Kazooie walk into a house with a sign, saying Pawno's shop.  
  
*Meanwhile, at Castle Hag-Witch-Wizard.*  
  
"This body is rather neat, but it will not do much for the bear and bird's defeat." Grunty says, having the body of JiggyWiggy.  
  
"Well.. The machine is fully charged for another blast!" Blobbella says.  
  
"Oh great!" Grunty says happily..  
  
"Hmm. The bear and bird are in Ghetto City." Mingella says, noticing the computer map..  
  
"Oh great! The place known for Friendly Pimps and Prostitutes!" Grunty says.  
  
"With the blast, we can turn the Pimps evil and also kill some-one, in fact, we have one evil robotic pimp there, good enough to get the bear and bird in trouble." Scrot says..  
  
"Well then. Seems Banjo found out about the Jiggy Pondums, and just got his first Jiggy. I say we blast that damn Canary Mary, she just gave Banjo and Kazooie a Jiggy, for just meeting her!" Grunty says evilly..  
  
Grunty walks up to machine.  
  
"Target, Canary Mary, in Ghetto City!" Grunty says.  
  
Eyes pop out on top of the machine, then they look at Grunty.  
  
"Access Granted." the Machine says..  
  
Grunty pushes the broadcast button.  
  
"Stupid bitch always deserved this!" Grunty says.  
  
*Back In Ghetto City, the Streets!*  
  
"Hmm.. I want something better!" Canary Mary says in her garbage can, watching her crappy TV.  
  
A Pimp walks near the garbage can.  
  
"Yo, Canary Mary, you are fired! You suck at sex, and you are the worst prostitute ever!" the Pimp says..  
  
The Pimp gets out his cell-phone and calls all the Pimps in the city except himself and THE BOSS pimp.  
  
Suddenly, all the Pimps in the City run up and surround the garbage can.  
  
"Yo, answer me!" The Pimp says..  
  
Suddenly, A Big Blast hits the garbage can.  
  
"What the hell was that?" The Pimp asks.  
  
*In The Garbage Can.*  
  
Suddenly, Canary Mary's TV gets great reception!  
  
"Finally, it's not so crappy after all!" Canary Mary says.  
  
Then, the TV begins to show naked bodies, they begin to move, and they turn Green this time!  
  
"What is that?" Canary Mary thinks.  
  
Suddenly, the naked bodies grow mushrooms on them, then pimples and warts!  
  
"This is sick!" Canary Mary says, trying to pretend she doesn't like sick stuff.  
  
The bodies then begin to have animal crap poured on to them.  
  
Canary Mary hurls in her Garbage Can..  
  
Suddenly, the bodies become *censored!*  
  
Canary Mary faints..  
  
*At Castle of Hag-Witch-Wizard.*  
  
"Well, seeing that's the only female body available, I guess I'll take it, besides, it could be useful!" Grunty says.  
  
Grunty presses the collect button.  
  
*In The Garbage Can.*  
  
"Guffo beans rule!" Guffo says.  
  
*In Ghetto City Streets.*  
  
"Wake up you bitch!" All the Pimps yell.  
  
Suddenly, a Giant laser blast hits the garbage can again, exploding the TV and making the Garbage lid fall off.  
  
"What's going on here?" The Pimps ask..  
  
Suddenly, all the pimps think it's a joke from Canary Mary.  
  
All of a sudden, the laser blast disappears, and the garbage can falls on the side, and then Canary Mary's body rolls out, black as charcoal.  
  
"What the *@%? That bitch is dead!" the Pimp yells.  
  
"Yeah.. And she never gave us our money back!" The other pimps yell.  
  
Suddenly, all the Pimps begin to turn, evil!  
  
"This is an outrage! Lets kill all!" one Pimp yells..  
  
"Yeah.. Everyone, lets kill the people who had sex with our Prostitutes!" the Pimps yell.  
  
"Um? No-one had sex with our prostitutes.. But lets kill all for the hell of it! Lets kidnap any female teenager we can find for Prostitution for the boss! And Worship GRUNTILDA!" the Pimp that used to own Canary Mary says.  
  
All the Pimps get out their pimp canes! Then they run around the city!  
  
*In Pawno's Shop.*  
  
"Yo, wassssup!" Pawno yells!  
  
"Um.. Nothing, except, do you have anything for sell?" Banjo asks..  
  
"Well, I have females you can save.. Sense Pimps always steel em, they are bit pricey. But I always have to protects the girls, why is it that I am the only male who does so." Pawno asks.  
  
"Because they pay you?" Kazooie says.  
  
"Oh, I forgot." Pawno answers..  
  
Banjo looks around the room and sees an Orange Jinjo.  
  
"How much for the Orange Jinjo?" Banjo asks..  
  
"That prostitute will cost you, a Pimp.." Pawno asks.  
  
"Why the *@% do you wanna Pimp?" Kazooie asks.  
  
"Well.. I wanna just have a dead one, for a rug or sell it for a big profit." Pawno says.  
  
Suddenly, a Pimp with a cane walks in!  
  
"Yo.. I is gonna kill you!" The Pimp yells..  
  
"Hmm.. What kind of way, opening attack, shooter, or battle style?" Kazooie asks.  
  
"Battle Style!" The Pimp yells..  
  
Iggy The Pimp  
  
(Human who had prostitutes to work for him and made money for him through sex.)  
  
"I have to do this!" The Pimp yells..  
  
The Pimp gets out his Cane, and hits Banjo on the head.  
  
"Oww!" Banjo yells.  
  
Banjo punches Iggy the Pimp in the balls! And then the pimp groans, scrathing his testes..  
  
"That's it! No more Mr. Nice Pimp." The Pimp Iggy yells..  
  
Iggy gets out a Pimp Gun (a small black pistol that Pimps use).  
  
"What the hell? He's got a gun!" Kazooie yells.  
  
Iggy The Pimp takes his time to aim at Kazooie!  
  
"Thats it!" Pawno yells..  
  
Pawno gets out his M16.  
  
"Um.. What's going on?" Banjo asks..  
  
Pawno pulls the Trigger and starts shooting the Pimp!  
  
"Nooo!!" the Pimp yells..  
  
"How do you like it Pimp!" Pawno yells.  
  
"Its ruining my Pimp Jacket, all that's gonna be seen is my body armor!" the Pimp yells, while still getting shot in the chest by Pawno!  
  
"Hmm.. PIMP, K-O 9, ATTACK!" the Pimp yells!  
  
The Pimp suddenly grows big muscles!  
  
Kazooie tosses a Grenade Egg at the Pimp and the Pimp's body armor breaks into peices!  
  
"All right, see ya, sucka!" Pawno yells.  
  
Pawno holds the trigger and shoots the Pimp in the chest. Then the Pimp falls to the ground.  
  
"Wait.. He's not dead!" Pawno yells..  
  
Pawno shoots the Pimp's body wasting twenty bullets.  
  
-Battle End thingy.-  
  
"Yeah! Wait, I saw it move!" Pawno says..  
  
Pawno shoots the body using up 6 more bullets!  
  
Pawno puts the M16 away..  
  
"Um.. I'm not gonna say a thing." Banjo says, confused..  
  
"Well um.. You got yourself a dead Pimp." Kazooie says..  
  
"You are right! Hmm... Think of all the things I can do with this pimp.. Well, you can have the Orange Jinjo that most customers think is a prostitute!" Pawno says.  
  
Suddenly, the Jinjo, stays in it place and blinks…. Wow…  
  
Banjo walks up to the Orange Jinjo!  
  
"Hey, you found me!" the Orange Jinjo says.  
  
"Yadda yadda yadda.. Give us something!" Kazooie says.  
  
"Um.. Well, I wish I could give you 500 bucks, but I don't have the money on me.  
  
"Um.. I don't think it'll be at your house either." Banjo says, remembering the money he took from the Orange Jinjo house..  
  
"Well, if you free us all, of the same color, we will give you a Jiggy!" the Orange Jinjo says.  
  
"Shut-up! We know what to do! ASSHOLE, just be happy I'm in the mood to save you!" Kazooie says.  
  
Banjo walks up to the Jinjo, and suddenly the Jinjo spins around as usual, and disappears.  
  
Banjo spots one of JamJars' Silos.  
  
"Well. Lets get ready for a new move." Banjo says.  
  
Banjo knocks on the Silo..  
  
JamJars jumps out!  
  
"Hey Punk! I got a lot of new moves, and first is free!" JamJars yells.  
  
"Yeah. Well what move is it this time." Kazooie asks.  
  
"Just to be nice, I'll tell you the move." JamJars says..  
  
BREEGULL Machine Gun  
  
"Listen Up To What You're Told, cuss what I'm about to tell is make you big and bold! In case those bastards get on your nerves, use Kazooie as a machine gun, to kill those pervs!" JamJars says..  
  
Suddenly, Bullets appear in front of JamJars.  
  
"What the? These aren't eggs, so how will I use them?" Kazooie asks.  
  
"Don't be so dumb, these things come out quick, they are real bullets, so you need to recock, so I reckon you get the cartridge in the birds mouth, and shoot non-stop to make havoc!" JamJars says..  
  
"Now.. I must go, dismissed you jerks!" JamJars says, as he goes back in his Silo.  
  
"Well. Now I'm a machine gun, great." Kazooie says, hating the idea of having lead in her mouth.  
  
"Hey.. I thought I said you could go! You won't get any Jiggies in here. I'm out." Pawno says..  
  
(Banjo and Kazooie walk out side and find 2 Pimps.)  
  
*Ghetto City, Streets.*  
  
"Yo, give us your bird! Or we'll shoot your ass off!" a Pimp in Blue says..  
  
"Ya, give us your bitch or die!" The other Pimp in Purple says..  
  
Banjo takes Kazooie out of his Back-Pack and treats her like a gun.  
  
"You want this?" Banjo asks.  
  
"Yeah, give the bird to us!" the pimp in Purple says.  
  
Banjo puts a clip in Kazooie's mouth.  
  
The Pimps get out their guns!  
  
"Well.. Give her to us!" The Pimp in blue demands.  
  
Banjo aims at the Pimp in Blue's head..  
  
Suddenly, Kazooie starts spitting out bullets like a Machine gun, and all of them hit the Pimp's head! Blood, all on the ground, blood of DOOM, all of it! Muah haha hahahahah! Oh, sorry.  
  
"What the hell did you do you bitch?" The Pimp in purple asks..  
  
Kazooie then rapidly coughs up more Bullets, all hitting the Pimp in Purple! And he falls on the ground, also dead!  
  
"Whats next!" Banjo says..  
  
"We should go to Mumbo's skull!" Kazooie says.  
  
They spot Mumbo's Skull, which has Gratify and garbage on it!  
  
(Banjo and Kazooie enter Mumbo's skull)  
  
  
  
Is this the End of the Pimps? Did Banjo turn evil? And what happened to the notes? Find out in the next section..  
  
  
  
-Author break!-  
  
"Hey, I got an idea!" the BigBananaMan says..  
  
"What?" Giro asks..  
  
"Make Banjo a pimp!" he replies.  
  
"That's stupid enough to, wait.." Giro says..  
  
"Smart enough to work! Bitch!" Snookie the pimp says, then leaves the story to go back to newgrounds..  
  
"And make the pimps good again, or at least the non-fancy ones." BBM  
  
  
  
Chapter 4 Part 2: Pimps Turn Somewhat Good, Tooty is confirmed kid- napped again, and Banjo the Pimp!  
  
Banjo walks in and finds a Glowbo..  
  
Banjo picks it up.. Then, his eyes go on fire some strange reason..  
  
"I must, do something dumb." Banjo says oddly, then his eye color goes back to blue..  
  
Banjo goes up to Mumbo..  
  
"We have a Glowbo." Banjo says..  
  
"Please give to me, I need the magic badly, I promise I won't waste it on Wumba.." Mumbo says..  
  
"Why do you hate Wumba so much?" Kazooie asks.  
  
"Sexual affair, we hate each other now.. Now please give me Glowbo." Mumbo says..  
  
Banjo's eyes turn Red..  
  
"NO you idiotic skull headed freak!" Banjo says.  
  
Kazooie pecks Banjo on the head.  
  
"Come on Banjo, we need Mumbo to kick Grunty's ASS!" Kazooie says..  
  
"Shut-up!" Banjo says..  
  
"Mumbo don't understand." Mumbo answers..  
  
"Mumbo, I think Banjo is a bit insane at the moment.." Kazooie says..  
  
Banjo grabs Kazooie out from his Back-Pack and treats her like a gun, then gets out a Clip of Bullets.  
  
"Sorry.. Mumbo, I can't control my body when Banjo is shoving these in my mouth!" Kazooie says..  
  
"YOU MUST DIE!" Banjo yells..  
  
"Looks like Mumbo hero now." Mumbo says..  
  
BANJO!??  
  
(Honey Bear using a Red-crested Breegull as a GUN!)  
  
Banjo punches Kazooie in the ASS and all the bullets hit Mumbo's chair as Mumbo quickly jumps and hits the ground.  
  
"Must be Slick, must be Slippery!" Banjo says..  
  
"Time for new move Mumbo been practicing for!" Mumbo says..  
  
"Sure.. Pathetic loser can only use stick!" Banjo says.  
  
"Mumbo has been using Martial Arts lately, whole time in skull, that's what I always do while you guys are gone, so don't under-estimate me!" Mumbo says..  
  
Banjo stuffs another clip in Kazooie's mouth..  
  
"Lock and Load! hahaha.." Banjo says, then laughs evilly..  
  
Mumbo jumps and quickly back-flips to the other side of the room!  
  
"Time for the lightning mode of rod to be on!" Mumbo says..  
  
Mumbo quickly chants a few words and makes his Stick charge up for attack!  
  
Banjo quickly turns around, and pounds Kazooie's ass non-stop!  
  
Mumbo quickly dodges the first row of bullets, then Mumbo jumps over the second row of bullets, and then Mumbo quickly rolls away from the last row of bullets..  
  
"BUFF YOU ASSHOLE! YOU MUST DIE SKULLMAN!" Banjo says, with a very odd tone..  
  
Mumbo runs up to Banjo, and puts his stick in front of Banjo! Then electricity blasts out of Mumbo's stick, shocking Banjo severely..  
  
"Not done.. Must, kill!" Banjo still says, very oddly.  
  
Mumbo back-flips behind Banjo, then kicks Banjo in the face..  
  
Banjo gets out another clip!  
  
Mumbo quickly low-kicks Banjo, causing Banjo to fall and drops his clip, Mumbo quickly steals Banjo's Glowbo..  
  
"Sorry bear, but I'm afraid I have to!" Mumbo says, then zaps Banjo with his stick till Banjo faints..  
  
Kazooie walks away from Banjo..  
  
"Um, what do we do now?" Kazooie asks..  
  
"Get drinks.." Mumbo answers.  
  
"I think we should tie Banjo up or lock him in a cage." Kazooie says..  
  
"I say I used new spell!" Mumbo says..  
  
Mumbo gets out his Bag and Performs a Dance.  
  
UNPOSSESS  
  
(stop mind control and reveal person controlling)  
  
"Eakum Bokum Eakum Bokum, EAKUM BOKUM EAT YOU UP!" Mumbo sings..  
  
Then suddenly, a strange human wearing a big grey helment (covering his head) and in Green Clothing floats above Banjo..  
  
"I can't control the loser anymore! Work damn it! KILL PEOPLE!" the figure yells..  
  
"Banjo is mind-control proof, don't bother.." Mumbo says..  
  
"What, I'm seen!" the figure says..  
  
"Hell yeah idiot, now get lost!" Kazooie replies...  
  
"All right, you found me, but who cares, that won't stop my tourment!" the figure yells.  
  
??????????????  
  
(unknown human with mind-controlling powers and can levitate)  
  
The strange human with an odd grey helment covering his face points his right hand towards Banjo.  
  
"I will just use the loser as a weapon!" the human says..  
  
The strange man with a huge mask closes his right hand and swing his right arm around, and Banjo suddenly levitates and spins around..  
  
"Thats it!" Kazooie yells!  
  
Kazooie puts a clip of bullets in her mouth (which she always hates) and starts spitting out all the bullets at the unknown human, however, they all miss!  
  
"Foolish bird, why do you bother, the bullets were known to be used together with the bear, in order to hold the recoil and aim properly! Hahahaha!" the human says and then laughs.  
  
Mumbo jumps towards the human and kicks him in the balls! The human suddenly loses control of using Banjo's body as a weapon and then Banjo falls to the ground..  
  
"Ow.. Jerk, you are pathetic! Give me your best shot!" the human yells, then suddenly lands on the ground..  
  
Mumbo charges up his stick and zaps the human, till he falls to the ground..  
  
-Dumb Stupid Battle End Sign..-  
  
"God.. I'm defeated." the human replies..  
  
"Yeah, well, give us something!" Kazooie says..  
  
"Information, the bear's sister has been kidnapped by Pimps." the human says..  
  
"Yeah, and we defeated you, we out to get something you jerk!" Kazooie yells..  
  
"I have a Jiggy, be happy!" the guy says, and tosses the Golden Jigsaw Piece at Kazooie..  
  
"Now, tell what your name is." Kazooie asks.  
  
"You'll find out in the next battle!" the Human says..  
  
"Next battle? We defeated you dumbass!" Kazooie yells..  
  
"No!" the man yells, then suddenly fades away.  
  
"Well.. That's over." Kazooie says..  
  
"Pimps kidnapped Tooty, on killer rampage.. I have an idea!" Mumbo says..  
  
"Good, now use it!" Kazooie says.  
  
Kazooie goes near Banjo and puts the Jiggy in backpack..  
  
Mumbo walks out of his skull..  
  
*In Ghetto City, Streets.*  
  
"Hope this works!" Mumbo mummers..  
  
Mumbo dances again with his bag..  
  
UNPOSSESS  
  
(Pimps Of Ghetto City to be old selves!)  
  
"Eakum Bokum! Eakum Bokum EAT YOU UP!" Mumbo sings.  
  
Then, suddenly, all the Pimps stop running around the city shooting guns, then they stop, look around, and put there guns away and use their cell- phone to talk..  
  
A pimp wearing a red pimp jacket sees Mumbo and walks up to him.  
  
"Thanks, oh yeah.. Here's the gold I promised boss!" a Pimp wearing a red Pimp jacket says.  
  
"What do you mean boss?" Mumbo asks.  
  
"You are our boss remember, don't forget we are here to stop Banjo!" the Pimp with his red Pimp jacket says..  
  
"Okay, give it to me!" Mumbo says, then gets handed a Jigsaw piece.  
  
"Free prostitutes on me!" the Pimp says..  
  
"Thanks for Jiggy!" Mumbo says...  
  
Mumbo walks back in skull..  
  
*In Mumbo's skull!*  
  
"Wake up, or I'll have to kick the witch's boney arse myself!" Kazooie yells in Banjo's ear.  
  
Mumbo walks upstairs.  
  
Mumbo pushes Banjo off his chair and Banjo falls to the floor and wakes up..  
  
"Huh? What happened?" Banjo asks.  
  
"A human with a freaky mask controlled you! Then I made all the evil Pimps regular Pimps, and got a Jiggy! And your sister was kidnapped." Mumbo says..  
  
"Oh, now what was that about the Mind Control part?" Banjo asks.  
  
"You were sleeping through it!" Kazooie says..  
  
Mumbo gives the Jiggy to Banjo and Banjo puts it in his back-pack.  
  
"Okay.. I think we should go now." Kazooie says, then hops back in Banjo's back-pack.  
  
"We have to save Tooty!" Banjo says..  
  
Mumbo gets out Karate Manual...  
  
Banjo and Kazooie run out of Mumbo's skull..  
  
"Hmm.. Says that I could, nah.. I wonder if there is any porn in here.." Mumbo says, reading his manual..  
  
*Ghetto Streets.*  
  
Banjo and Kazooie walk out of Mumbo's skull and find a Pimp wearing red..  
  
"Hey, do you know where Tooty is?" Banjo asks..  
  
"Who's Tooty?" the pimp in red asks.  
  
"We mean, did you see a fine female around age 16 who had blond hair, and about 5 feet and 11 inches tall?" Kazooie asks, somewhat correcting Banjo..  
  
"Sure, she's in the whore house.. Wait, you are that bear's sister!" the Pimp in red answers..  
  
"Yeah, so?" Banjo asks.  
  
"Um.. Nothing, but the guards at the whore house were assigned to kill you guys, but I'm not one of them, only the most superior pimps are aloud in there." the pimp in the red jacket says..  
  
"What do you mean, the most superior pimps?" Kazooie asks..  
  
"You got to have a cane, you got to have a pimp jacket, you got to have your pimp glass, pimp gun, pimp pants, pimp hat, and pimp shoes!" the pimp in red answers.  
  
"Damn, that's a lot of stuff.. Do they allow bears?" Kazooie asks..  
  
"Well, ever sense they got that bear prostitute, yes, but you gotta be skinnier than that, and you gotta be taller too!" the pimp answers..  
  
"Great.. We are stuck.." Banjo says..  
  
Banjo crosses the street and runs into another Pimp, wearing a yellow pimp jacket.  
  
"Hey, there's this real hot chick 2 blocks from here! She likes Glowbos, and hates Pimps, I don't know why, but she nearly kills us with her crossbow." the pimp says..  
  
"I think you are referring to Humba Wumba." Kazooie answers..  
  
"Oh, so that's her name, hmm, how about offering her this gift and say it was from me, Billy the Pimp, I'm known as, THE FRIENDLY PIMP!" Billy the Pimp says, and gets out a Glowbo..  
  
Kazooie grabs the Glowbo..  
  
"Good, please give it to her, and say it was from me! And don't forget, I offer free prostitutes for the people who help me out." Billy answers..  
  
*2 Blocks later, Wumba's Wigwam.*  
  
Wumba hears footsteps and gets out her Cross-Bow!  
  
Banjo walks in.  
  
"No.. Put that away!" Banjo yells scared..  
  
"Sorry, I thought you were one of those pimps who were going to try and kidnap me." Wumba says, then puts away her cross-bow..  
  
"What happened to Tooty? She was with you last time!" Kazooie yells..  
  
"Calm down, I tried to stop the pimps with my cross-bow, but they got away with her.." Wumba says..  
  
"Just tell us what you were doing the whole time you slut!" Kazooie yells..  
  
"I was teaching her the secret technique of--"  
  
"Sure.. What really happened, why didn't you try hard enough! Why didn't you--"  
  
"Um, Kazooie, all Wumba had was a Cross-Bow, and the Pimps had guns." Banjo says..  
  
"Well, fine, forget it! Now, we have a Glowbo.." Kazooie says..  
  
"Its from Willy the Pimp!" Banjo answers..  
  
"I've heard of him, though he may be friendly, I still don't like him, because he is still a Pimp!" Wumba yells..  
  
"Well, just give us a little something for delivering the Glowbo.." Kazooie says..  
  
"Toss the thing in!" Wumba says..  
  
Banjo tosses the Glowbo in the pool and hears the Glowbo scream its lungs off before it dies..  
  
"Now go on, jump in for transformation!" Wumba says..  
  
Wumba gets out her book of Magical Transformations.  
  
Banjo jumps into the pool of Pink water, suddenly begins to levitate a little, dissapears!  
  
Then Banjo re-appears as a tall, skinny bear (sort of more humanoid), with a green pimp hat, human hands, pink pimp jacket, sunglasses, blue back-pack (as expected), pimp cane, long yellow pimp jeans, and pimp shoes.  
  
"What! A PIMP!" Wumba yells, then gets out her cross-bow and aims at Banjo...  
  
"Stop, its me, please.." Banjo the Pimp tries to say..  
  
Wumba puts her cross-bow away..  
  
"Sorry.. I call this PIMP! You can get around all areas with pimp security without having to worry about being killed, the only original thing you can use your cell-phone and bullets. You can now use a Pimp gun and a Pimp cane as weapons." Wumba says..  
  
"Yo! Where is the prostitute and the feather on my hat?" Banjo The Pimp asks.  
  
"Not included for spell." Wumba answers.  
  
"Um.. Now, about that little, um, thing needed for Willy The Pimp.." Banjo The Pimp says..  
  
Wumba gets out a pair of her Panties..  
  
"I hate these, they don't fit, just give it to the Pimp so he can stop harassing me." Wumba says, getting out her oldest pair of panties..  
  
Banjo The Pimp grabs it and walks out side..  
  
*Ghetto City, Streets.*  
  
Banjo The Pimp finishes walking 2 blocks and finds Billy The Friendly Pimp..  
  
"Hey, you wanted somethin from Wumba, right?" Banjo The Pimp asks..  
  
"Why yes.." Billy the Pimp answers..  
  
Banjo The Pimp gets out a pair of panties and gives it to Billy..  
  
"Wow! Now I can sell this and make millions of bucks on E-BAY! These are the panties from the famous Humba Wumba, everyone will want this!" Billy says happily..  
  
"Here, you can have this, I don't need it anymore!" Billy says, giving Banjo The Pimp a Jiggy, the he leaves..  
  
Jiggies: 4  
  
Banjo spots the Whore house on "44 Lickadoor avenue" on "Pretty Whore street"..  
  
Banjo The Pimp then walks to the whore house, and finds two guards..  
  
"Hault, you must prove yourself a worthy Pimp before entering!" Guard 1 says..  
  
"Yeah, worthy Pimp.. You, Pimp!" Guard 2 says..  
  
Banjo gets out his Pimp gun and smiles, and when he smiles, his one gold tooth reflects the sunlight..  
  
"Wait, that's good enough, but, answer this question.. Who is the new sexy prostitute?" Guard 1 asks..  
  
"Tooty, what the heck do you think I am, stupid?" Banjo The Pimp yells..  
  
"Okay, but to enter, you must show us your prostitute.." Guard 1 asks..  
  
"She's inside, you guys stole her, I need my whore back!" Banjo The Pimp says..  
  
"Duh.. Okay! Come in and get her back out and meet with us with her!" Guard 2 says..  
  
Banjo The Pimp enters the Whore House..  
  
"You stupid twat, now we can't prevent him due to that damn rule book.." the first Guard says slowly..  
  
The Doors Close Behind Banjo The PIMP!  
  
Will Banjo The Pimp be discovered as a magically changed fraud? Does Mumbo own the whore house? And what's the name of that mind-controlling human! Find out in the next chapter of Grunty WinkyBunion's revenge! Except for the mind-controlling human's name part.. 


	5. Ghetto City's WHORE HOUSE, Saving Tooty

Banjo The Pimp  
  
Age- Unknown..  
  
Species- 80% Human, 20% Bear  
  
Gender- Male  
  
Description- Wears a blue backpack, yellow pants with a black belt, sunglasses, Pink Pimp Jacket, Pimp shoes, and green Pimp hat with a Gold Feather on it! Walks around with his Pimp cane and usual has his right hand in his pocket of his Pimp Jacket, a.k.a. holds on to his Pimp Gun with his right hand. Human body, bear face, still has blue eyes.  
  
Uses- Cell-Phone, Bullets, Pimp Cane, and his Pimp Gun.. Also Plunger Gloves and Cane-Hookshot, and even Running shoes..  
  
Occupation- Rookie Pimp..  
  
Home Town- Ghetto City, Wumba's Wigwam?  
  
Bio- Pimp Transformation used to sneak into whore house and save hostages..  
  
Notice: This chapter will be using copyrighted characters and items.. All items and characters in this chapter are copyrighted by RareWare, Jhonnen Vasquez, and me.  
  
  
  
Chapter 5 Part 1: Ghetto City's Whore House  
  
  
  
*Ghetto City, Whore House Lobby, 1st Floor.*  
  
Banjo The Pimp enters the Whore House, and all the lights are off..  
  
Suddenly, the doors behind Banjo The Pimp close, as confirmed in the last chapter.  
  
"Ah crap, its locked, oh well.." Banjo The Pimp says, while trying to open the doors.  
  
Suddenly, the lights go on, then the Disco music from Jet Force Gemini goes on, and naked Prostitutes on Pillars dance!  
  
Banjo The Pimp walks up to the nearest prostitute.  
  
"Yo, do you know where Tooty is?" Banjo asks.  
  
Suddenly, a Pimp wearing clothing that is all black walks up to Banjo.  
  
"Yo, that's my prostitute!" The Pimp dressed in all black clothing yells, then he quickly gets out his Pimp Gun..  
  
"What?" Banjo The Pimp asks.  
  
"You better pay up, it'll be your prostitute or big money." the Pimp in Black demands.  
  
"Oh, I was just checking her out. Seeing if she was worth it. I don't wanna buy her." Banjo The Pimp says.  
  
"Oh, well in that case, forget it. Wait a sec, where is your feather on your hat?" the Pimp wearing all black asks, then puts his gun away.  
  
"Um, I dropped it." Banjo The Pimp says.  
  
"Then you better go find it quick, or else the boss might mistake ya for someone else." the Pimp in Black says, then he quickly leaves.  
  
"A feather, where am I gonna find that.." Banjo The Pimp thinks to himself..  
  
BTP spots a desk with a Gold Feather on it.  
  
"Well, that is solved." BTP says, taking the Gold Feather from the desk and putting it on his hat.  
  
*Meanwhile, at Castle of Hag-Witch-Wizard.*  
  
"This really sucks, to know that killing Canary Mary and turning the Pimps on the streets evil was useless, its just my bad luck." Gruntilda says, still with JiggyWiggy's body.  
  
"Bear and Bird aren't found anywhere on the mapping system." Mingella says..  
  
"Pimps have turned good again, it's going to be too easy for Bear and Bird to survive." Blobbella says..  
  
"Don't get too discouraged my dear cousins.. One of our robotic creations is in Ghetto City still.." Scrot says.  
  
"Barely useful, if the bear and bird get to the robot, it will be destroyed quickly." Blobbella says.  
  
"Not this time, the robot is the Boss of the Whore House.. Only an upgrading device is needed, which is the Irkin Army Robotic expansion." Scrot adds.  
  
Scrot walks up to SOM's controls and pushes the order button.  
  
*On Planet Irk, Weapons Shipment Base.*  
  
A slave worker with green skin is seen working with mail orders..  
  
Suddenly, a screen pops in front of the worker, and the screen has an image with a human's head and face with sunglasses and a wizard hat, and this image is Scrot.  
  
"I need the Irkin Robotic Expansion system package now!" Scrot demands.  
  
"Um.. Hold on, you need to speak to the tallest." the Slave Worker says.  
  
Scrot's image dissapears.  
  
*On Planet Irk, Tallest whatever message room.*  
  
The slave worker's image screen appears in the room.  
  
"Tallest, we have a creature demanding a shipment in, I have no idea who he is.." the slave worker says.. Then his image quickly disappears.  
  
Scrot's image appears in front of the Tallest.  
  
"Woah, hey Purple, check this out." Red says.  
  
Purple walks up to the image screen.  
  
"What the hell is that?" Purple asks..  
  
"I think its one of those humans Zim was talking about, or maybe just another Invader, Purple, speak to the species." Red replies.  
  
"Hello.. We speak English, for right now, how may I help you.." Purple asks..  
  
"I need an Irkin Army Robotic Expansion." Scrot says.  
  
"Which one? The one with lasers?" Red asks..  
  
"No, not the las---" Purple quickly gets hit in his right eye before he finishes.  
  
"No, that's not it.. I want a pure power expansion." Scrot says.  
  
"Um, okay.. Yeah, that's all that's needed.." Purple says, with his right eye closed.  
  
Suddenly, a document gets printed under Scrot's image..  
  
Scrot's image quickly disappears..  
  
Purple walks up to the document and reads it with his left eye.  
  
"Um, lets see, 1 Irkin Army Robotic Expansion package for the comfiest couch planet, and 1 Irkin Army Robotic Expansion package for.. Um, what's this word?" Purple asks..  
  
Red walks up to Purple and grabs the document.  
  
"I think its kind of where Zim is, wait, I'm not sure.. Well, its in Island OddBallness Ghetto City Whore House on 44 Lickadoor Street on Pretty Whore Avenue." Red says.  
  
"Pretty Whore Avenue? Whore House.. Oh no, that is not worth it, besides the rejected species, not worth it for a place like that." Purple says.  
  
*Back in the Planet Irk Weapon Shipping Base.*  
  
The Tallest's images appear in front of a Slave Worker.  
  
"Forget the shipping for the Scrot guy, it isn't worth it, just cancel." Red says.  
  
The Tallest's image disappears.  
  
"Hmm.. Why bother the Comfiest Couch Planet.. I hate being a slave of work! I shall have more fun mixing up more damn packages!" the Slave Worker says..  
  
The Slave Worker changes the address for the Irkin Army Robot Expansion Package to go to Island OddBallness, Ghetto City, Whore House.  
  
"Yes.. They shall suffer! Damn ASSHOLES! Muah hahahahaha!" the Slave Worker laughs evilly..  
  
"Hey, shut the *@% up!" A muscular guy with Green Skin and a whip yells at the Slave Worker.  
  
*Outside of Planet Irk.*  
  
A cannon on Planet Irk aims at the Whore House of Ghetto City in Island OddBallness..  
  
Then the cannon fires the package across the universe towards Island OddBallness..  
  
*Outside the Whore House of Ghetto City.*  
  
Suddenly, the Package starts to enter Ghetto City's atmosphere.  
  
"Duh, look! It's a flying box, full of cash." Guard 2 says.  
  
"Shut-up, you should know it's a package for the boss." Guard 1 answers correctly.  
  
The package then heads strait towards the Whore House and crashes into the highest floor, leaving a hole on the roof.. Suddenly, the hole ceils up.  
  
*Inside The Whore House, Lobby, 1st Floor.*  
  
A loud bang is heard everywhere in the building and the Jet Force Gemini disco music stops..  
  
"What hell was that? Ah well.." BTP mummers to himself.  
  
"I guess I'll just save a bunch of losers who can't save them selves!" BTP mummers..  
  
Banjo The Pimp sees a red carpet and follows it, walking past the dancing prostitutes (who still dance some reason even though music isn't on), and ends up in a hallway with two rooms and stairs to the second floor.  
  
Banjo The Pimp goes near the door on his left, walks up to it, and kicks the door down.. He walks in, and finds, 25 NOTES!  
  
"These notes you idiotic punk, you used them a lot, so if you don't know how to use them or what they are, to bad dumbarse!" a voice similar to JamJars yells.  
  
BTP walks out of the room, and kicks the door down for the other side.  
  
Banjo walks in, and Finds a Yellow Jinjo, he walks up to it, and it spins around and disappears.  
  
Banjo The Pimp leaves the room and heads up stairs to the second floor, and ends up in another hallway with 4 rooms and another set of stairs.  
  
*Second Floor, of the, WHOREHOUSE!*  
  
Banjo TP smashes the first door he sees on his left, and finds..  
  
A PIMP wearing a green pimp jacket talking on a cell-phone!  
  
The pimp gets out his Pimp gun..  
  
Banjo The Pimp quickly gets out his own Pimp Gun, pulls the trigger, and kills the pimp before that pimp gets a chance, then BTP walks out, goes to the other side of the hallway, busts that door down, and finds a, PROSTITUTE and a guy having sex!  
  
"Um.. Sorry.." BTP says and walks away.  
  
BTP walks up past the first 2 doors, and goes up to the last two..  
  
Banjo slams the door on his left down, and finds, a room, with a bed, a shower, and a drawer.. How useless!  
  
TP leaves that room and kicks the door on his right down, and finds 25 Notes.. Then leaves that damn room, and Banjo walks upstairs...  
  
*3rd Floor of Dah WHORE HOUSE!*  
  
BTP walks up stairs and finds another set of rooms.  
  
BTP kicks the door in the first row on his left.  
  
BTP enters it and finds a weird thing..  
  
*Inside the room of the 3rd Floor Whore House.*  
  
BTP finds a chest in the room.  
  
BTP gets out his Pimp gun and aims at the lock of the chest, then the chest opens up some strange reason, and a chain with a spear at the end pops out..  
  
"I get it, its one of them hook-shots, well, guess I better keep it, maybe its for my cane." BTP mummers, and then grabs it, adjusting it to his Pimp Cane.  
  
BTP walks out of the room and comes to the other door, and kicks it down, he finds, an Invader Zim doll with a Prostitute hugging it.  
  
"Um.. Sorry again.." BTP says madly..  
  
BTP leaves the room just when the doll's head falls off.  
  
*3rd Floor, room hall.*  
  
BTP walks up to the last row of doors in the hallway, he kicks the one on his left down, and finds 2 Jinjos! 1 Black, the other Red! BTP walks up to them and the Jinjos spin around and disappear.  
  
BTP leaves that room and goes to the one on the right, kicks it down and finds 1 Brown Jinjo, and saves the helpless bastard..  
  
4 Jiggies, 50 notes, 1 Black Jinjo, 1 Brown Jinjo, 1 Orange Jinjo, 1 Red, and 1 Yellow..  
  
"Hmm.. I found all the Jinjo here, now to save Tooty!" BTP thinks to himself..  
  
Banjo The Pimp leaves the room and heads towards the forth floor by climbing the stairs.  
  
*4th Floor of da Whore House.*  
  
BTP heads up the stairs and hears 2 Pimps talking, 1 Dressed in all Black, the other Pimp with a Brown Pimp Jacket.  
  
"From what I heard, there is a fake Pimp here, we need to assassinate him.." the Pimp in Black says.  
  
"Yes, that's true, and he just saved 4 of our hostages.. I think I know who it is, it might be the pimp with a face of a bear." the Pimp wearing a Brown Jacket says.  
  
BTP puts his Pimp Gun away, and aims at a door knob that's 5 feet away from where the Pimps are talking with his Pimp Cane, he pushes the button on his cane, and the hook-shot hits the door-knob, then TP quickly pushes the button on his Pimp cane and quickly gets pulled to the door.  
  
"Did you hear something?" the Pimp wearing all black clothing asks.  
  
"Probably just one of our men testing our new Pimp Cane Hook-Shot." the Pimp in Brown says.  
  
BTP quickly rolls to the other side..  
  
"This Pimp has killed 4 or more of our Pimps so Far.. He might even kill us and save the girl we kidnapped for his own Prostitute! I think we need to pop the girl's cherry quick!" the Pimp wearing all Black says.  
  
The Pimp in Black gets out his Cell-Phone and starts dialing a number!  
  
Banjo The Pimp aims his cane at the cell-phone, presses the button, and his hook-spot hits the cell-phone, destroying it, and BTP swings to the Pimp wearing all Black.. BTP quickly gets out his Pimp Gun and rams it on the side of the Pimp wearing all black's head.  
  
"What are you doing in our Whore House?" the Pimp wearing a Brown Pimp Jacket asks.  
  
"Where is Tooty?" BTP says firmly..  
  
"Who is Tooty?" the Pimp wearing a Brown Pimp Jacket asks.  
  
"Where is the new Whore you KIDNAPPED!" BTP yells, then pulls his index finger near the trigger.  
  
"Oh, she is on the 9th floor!" the Pimp wearing a Brown Pimp Jacket says..  
  
"Now, tell me more, or the Pimp gets it!" BTP yells.  
  
The Pimp wearing a Brown Pimp Jacket runs away really quickly upstairs.  
  
"Um.. Please don't kill me, I got a wife and prosti--" BTP quickly knocks out the pimp in all black clothing with his cane before the pimp in all Black clothing finishes..  
  
BTP gets mad and runs up stairs chasing the Pimp wearing a brown Pimp Jacket with his Pimp gun, BTP starts shooting rapidly but he keeps missing the Pimp in the Brown Pimp Jacket.  
  
"Now, it's time to fight fair!" The Pimp in a Brown Pimp Jacket yells, then he gets out his own Pimp Gun, still running..  
  
BTP and the Pimp in a Brown Pimp Jacket just run past the fifth floor and make it up to the 6th!  
  
"Stop running you fool!" BTP yells while trying to shoot at the other pimp and running.  
  
"Never!" the Pimp in Brown yells, running and still missing with his Pimp Gun.  
  
They run up to the 7th floor.  
  
"Give up! You are running out of floors!" BTP yells, still shooting inaccurately at the Pimp in Brown.  
  
"Um, not until I'm at the final floor!" the Pimp in Brown says insanely, and shoots also while running..  
  
They both head up to the 8th floor!  
  
*8th Floor of the Whore House.*  
  
They come to a dead end with 1 room on the left.  
  
"Okay.. I give up." The Pimp in a Brown Pimp Jacket says.. Then puts his gun away..  
  
"Good.. Now, I thought you said that there were 9 floors, why is there a dead end here?" BTP asks.  
  
"Because, when the boss confirmed that people were coming to save the new prostitute, we ceiled up the path to the boss' room so no-one could save the new prostitute." the Pimp in a Brown Pimp Jacket says.  
  
"Now, how do I get there?" BTP asks..  
  
"Well, there is a weak section of wall outside, behind this building on ground level.. With explosives you could destroy it." The pimp in a brown Pimp Jacket answers.  
  
"Good.." BTP says, then puts his Pimp gun away..  
  
"You will also need the key card to his room." the Pimp in Brown answers, getting closer to the door on his left.  
  
"Hmm.. Where can I get this card?" BTP asks.  
  
"It doesn't matter, cause you can't get it!" the Pimp in a Brown Pimp Jacket says, getting out his Pimp Gun and running into the room!  
  
BTP runs in too, getting out his Pimp Gun..  
  
*The only bedroom for the 8th floor of the Whore House.*  
  
Banjo The Pimp looks around and spots a pink bed, a shower, a desk, red carpet, the Pimp In a Brown Pimp jacket, and a cage with a big lock that contains a White creature.  
  
"Don't make a single move!" the Pimp in Brown yells.  
  
"What's going on?" BTP asks, then suddenly, the door locks behind him..  
  
"I'll tell you, you are going to die soon!" The pimp yells, then shoots the lock of the cage and it if breaks and falls off the cage.  
  
Suddenly, the cage opens and a White Muscular Jinjo pops out..  
  
"Now, sense this creature is under the boss' control, you will suffer!" the Pimp in a Brown Pimp Jacket yells..  
  
Then, some strange reason, the White Muscular Jinjo punches the Pimp and he faints..  
  
"Well, seeing that you are needed to destroy, rookie pimp, lets see if you can survive." the White Muscular Jinjo says.  
  
"What are you talking about?" BTP asks.  
  
"I'm going to fight you and kill you!" The White Jinjo yells.  
  
White Windy Muscular Jinjo  
  
(Female Muscular Jinjo with Wind Powers)  
  
Banjo The Pimp quickly shoots the Muscular Jinjo with his Pimp Gun, and the she falls to the ground..  
  
"Oh no, she died.. Now how am I gonn-" BTP says, just before he stops when he sees the White Muscular Jinjo get up.  
  
"What, you cheater." she says.  
  
"Now.. CYCLONE, ATTACK!" the White Muscular Jinjo yells.  
  
BTP quickly shoots the White Muscular Jinjo again.  
  
"No.. I must, defeat you!" She says, then runs up to Banjo The Pimp, picks him up, spins him around, throws him, and yet, BTP lands into the soft pink bed!  
  
The White Muscular Jinjo goes near BTP.  
  
"I ain't sleepin with ya bitch!" BTP yells!  
  
"That's not what I am gonna do!" the White Muscular Jinjo says.  
  
BTP shoots the Muscular Jinjo in the chest again with his Pimp Gun.  
  
"That's it!" White Muscular Jinjo says.  
  
"Tornado Attack!" She yells.  
  
Banjo The Pimp starts shooting at the White Muscular Jinjo, but all the bullets get absorbed by the Tornado that just formed.  
  
"Uh-oh..." BTP says, then he puts his gun away and puts both his arms on his cane, and then he suddenly begins to get absorbed in the Tornado.  
  
"Muah ha ha ha ha!" the White Muscular Jinjo says.  
  
Suddenly, BTP's hook-shot hits the White Muscular Jinjo in the chest, and then the Tornado stops.  
  
"You defeated the evil within me!" she says..  
  
Banjo The Pimp hits the ground..  
  
"Ow.. Um, what do I get?" BTP asks.  
  
"Well.. My phone number, its 555-Windy, I'm too lazy to tell you the official number." she says.  
  
"How about being my prostit-"  
  
"Oh yeah, um, you can have these eggs, they are wind eggs, inside the eggs are, well.." The White Muscular Jinjo says, while getting out odd colored eggs that are white..  
  
BTP grabs the eggs, and puts them in his back-pack..  
  
Suddenly, knocking is heard on the door..  
  
"Um, I gotta go." The White Muscular Jinjo says, then levitates and dissapears.  
  
The door gets slammed open, and a Pimp with his Pimp Gun and wearing a gray jacket runs in.  
  
"Time to die! I found you!" the Pimp says.  
  
Banjo The Pimp quickly kicks the other pimp in the face and he faints.  
  
Banjo The Pimp walks out and sees a bunch of Pimps with K7 Avengers..  
  
"Oh no.." BTP mummers, then gets back inside.  
  
BTP finds a keycard in the Pimp in Brown's Jacket and takes it.  
  
BTP looks in the cage and finds a pair of Running Shoes, he puts them on and runs out the door.  
  
*In The Whore House Hallways.*  
  
"Hey you, time to die!" The Pimps with K7 Avengers yells.  
  
Banjo The Pimp quickly runs past them.  
  
"Where did he go?" They ask each other.  
  
BTP runs down the stairs till he spots another pair of Pimps with K7 Avengers and Land Mines, BTP quickly uses his Cane Hook-Shoot on a door knob across the hall and gets to the other side, then continues to walk down stairs, with explosions going on and Pimps chasing him.  
  
*3 floors down later, 4th Floor.*  
  
Banjo The Pimp still runs past all the Pimps and comes to a dead-end with robotic Sentry Guns filling up the hallway.  
  
"Oh no!" BTP yells, then knocks a door down near him quickly and enters It..  
  
*4th Floor, last room.*  
  
Banjo The Pimp finds a window and a chest.  
  
The Pimps run downstairs and Banjo The Pimp hears the other pimps' footsteps.  
  
BTP kicks the chest open and finds a pair of Plunger Gloves, he puts his cane in his backpack and breaks the window with his Pimp gun, then he puts his Pimp gun away too..  
  
The Pimps start pounding on the door outside of the room BTP is in.  
  
BTP jumps out the window just when the Pimps enter the room.  
  
"Where did he go?" The Pimps ask each other, and then they look out the window.  
  
"He isn't here.. If he was out here, he would have died by now, come on, lets check the other rooms." One of the Pimps says.  
  
They leave the room..  
  
*Outside The Whore House.*  
  
BTP hangs onto the side of the building, and slowly climbs down.. Then he jumps off and quickly runs away from the building..  
  
*2 Blocks Later, In Wumba's Wigwam.*  
  
Banjo The Pimp huffs and pants.. Then he takes off his Plunger Gloves and running shoes.  
  
"What a horrible experience... Now I am on Ghetto City's most wanted list." Banjo The Pimp says to Humba Wumba..  
  
"Jump in the pool then." Wumba replies..  
  
Banjo The Pimp falls down in the pool and turns back into regular Banjo and Kazooie..  
  
"Never want to do that again.. That was too fast and deadly." Banjo complains..  
  
"Good, then I'm going to finally be able to kick some ass, that transformation made me not exist, like the rest.." Kazooie says.  
  
"Yes, but you must make a final stop to the Whore House in order to save your sister." Kazooie says.  
  
"Ah crap.. I got a feeling that its still not going to be easy." Banjo complains..  
  
  
  
Well, it seems that Banjo in his Pimp form went up to became to be one of Ghetto City's Most Wanted Criminals. But even though he survived the first time in Whore House, will he be able to save his sister before the 16-year- old female bear loses his virginairity.. Find out in the next part of this, Chapter!  
  
  
  
-Author Break.-  
  
Gregg- Why the hell did you put in Invader Zim characters?  
  
Author- I couldn't help it, I'm an IZ fan..  
  
Captain Blackeye- Just continue the damn story!  
  
-Break End.-  
  
Chapter 5 part 2: Another Trip To The Whore House..  
  
*Wumba's Wigwam.*  
  
"Um, one thing, where the hell do we get this magic?" Kazooie asks.  
  
"I'm not sure, I was working on it, but the Pimps who kidnapped Tooty ruined my plans. Come back after you save her." Wumba says.  
  
Banjo and Kazooie leave, and walk 2 blocks to the streets of Ghetto City.  
  
*Ghetto City, Streets.*  
  
Banjo walks up to Billy The Pimp.  
  
"Wahey! I'm rich thanks to a pimp who had a face of a bear like you!" Billy The Pimp says.  
  
"Um, if you ever see that pimp again, will you kill him?" Kazooie asks.  
  
"Why?" Billy The Pimp asks in response.  
  
"Um, well, he is on the Most Wanted list, oh well." Kazooie says.  
  
Banjo crosses the street to Pretty Whore Avenue..  
  
He ends up near a strange teleporting device..  
  
"What is this?" Banjo asks Kazooie..  
  
"Why the hell would I know." Kazooie says to Banjo.  
  
Suddenly, KLUNGO walks out of the strange machine.  
  
"Um, hi Klungo, what are you doing here?" Banjo asks.  
  
"I'm here to teach bird old move, you need 50 notes." Klungo says.  
  
"We have 50 notes, and why would I want to be taught an old move?" Kazooie says sarcastically.  
  
"Um, because you forgot it!" Klungo says..  
  
"Um, okay.. Kazooie, just listen, and maybe he'll go away." Banjo says.  
  
Kazoo for Kazooie  
  
"In order to get threw the strange story the author made.. You neeeeed tooo use a instrewment, the instrewment is a Kazoo." Klungo says.  
  
"Um, what?" Kazooie asks.  
  
"You need to use music to succeed and defeat the witch, you guys used to play instruments, now you quit, so now I'm reteaching the bird!" Klungo says.  
  
Klungo gets out a Kazoo and gives it to Kazooie.  
  
"Use instrewment to open things, I forget, I don't know any songs, so good bye! I'm going to go back home for Pizza!" Klungo says.  
  
Klungo walks back in his teleporter...  
  
"Wait a sec, will you explain some more, please." Banjo says.  
  
Suddenly, the teleporter explodes into pieces.  
  
"Oh well, he never made sense anyway." Kazooie says, then puts the Kazoo in the backpack.  
  
"We need to save Tooty now!" Banjo says.  
  
They walk across the street to the Whore House.  
  
"*@% OFF OR GET SHOT YOU DAMN BEAR!" the first Guard yells..  
  
"Yeah, you get shot, you bear!" Guard 2 says idiotically.  
  
Banjo and Kazooie leave and head towards the back of the building.  
  
*Behind the Outside Of The Whore.*  
  
Banjo and Kazooie spot a section of wall that's unpainted..  
  
"Um, I think that must be the weak section of wall." Banjo says..  
  
Kazooie spits out a Grenade Egg, and it explodes, destroying the weak section of wall, then they walk in..  
  
*Inside The Whore House, Ceiled Up Path.*  
  
Banjo quickly pulls Kazooie out of his backpack and treats her like a Machine gun..  
  
Banjo looks around the area, and notices that the stairs to the second floor are locked.  
  
"Great, how will we get up." Banjo asks Kazooie.  
  
Banjo suddenly gets an idea and pulls out a keycard.  
  
"What the? It can't fit a key, stupid lock!" Banjo says madly.  
  
"Um, Banjo, look to your left." Kazooie says.  
  
Banjo looks left and finds a stairway to the basement.  
  
Banjo walks down and enters it.  
  
*Ceiled up section of Whore House, Basement.*  
  
Banjo walks down stairs with Kazooie in both of his hands, when he walks down, he notices a MoleHill that's the same as Bottles'.  
  
"Hey Bottles, are you there?" Banjo asks.  
  
"Yes I am, but I'm not coming out until that offensive bird goes away!" Bottles says underground.  
  
Banjo goes away and notices a strange pillar, a microphone, and Split-Up Pads.. Banjo walks up to the Split-Up pads and tosses Kazooie on her pad. Banjo runs back to Bottles' Mound.  
  
"Okay, Kazooie is away Bottles, now what was it?" Banjo asks.  
  
Bottles jumps out from his mole hill and shakes all his dirt off..  
  
"You need 50 notes." Bottles says.  
  
"Yeah, I have those." Banjo replies  
  
"Okay, hopefully if you meet with Klungo, you'd know that you'd be needing your old Instruments." Bottles says.  
  
"Yeah, so?" Banjo asks.  
  
Banjo for Banjo..  
  
"Your next move is an old one, I'm going to teach you how to play the banjo.. But instead, I don't know how to sing and play songs and music, so I'll just give you your old Banjo back." Bottles says.  
  
Bottles gets out Banjo's old Banjo and gives it to Banjo so he can keep the Banjo.  
  
"Well, the instrument has 4 strings and the last time you used it was before Tooty was kidnapped, and same for Kazooie and her Kazoo." Bottles says.  
  
"So, don't I need something to get upstairs?" Banjo asks Bottles.  
  
"Probably a song with your Banjo and Kazooie's Kazoo.." Bottles says, then Bottles jumps back in his molehile and digs away.  
  
Banjo walks up to Kazooie.  
  
"Well, obviously Pottles meant that we should play a song on the pillar near the microphone." Kazooie says, then quickly hops in Banjo's backpack.  
  
"But what song." Banjo asks..  
  
"I don't know.." Kazooie says..  
  
Banjo walks up to the strange pillar with a microphone in front of it, and gets out his Banjo while Kazooie pops out of his backpack with a Kazoo in her mouth.  
  
Kazooie looks around the room and sees strange writing on a wall.  
  
"Hmm.. How about the song on that wall?" Kazooie says confused.  
  
"Okay.." Banjo says..  
  
"It shows on the wall that the first note is suppose to be the fourth string of your Banjo, the second note is the 1st hole of my Kazoo, the 3rd note is the forth hole of my Kazoo, the 4th note is the first string of your Banjo, the 5th note is the 3rd string of your Banjo, and the 6th note is 2nd hole of my Kazoo.." Kazooie says, trying to translate the writing on the wall.  
  
Banjo hits the fourth string of his Banjo, Kazooie covers the first hole of her Kazoo and blows, then Kazooie covers the fourth hole of her Kazoo and blows, Banjo hits the 3rd string of his Banjo, and Kazooie covers the 2nd hole of her Kazoo, then they repeat the process faster.  
  
Suddenly, the Microphone floats around the rooms, and explodes due to the song...  
  
Then Banjo and Kazooie put their instruments away.  
  
*1st Ceiled Floor Of The Whore House.*  
  
The door suddenly fades away...  
  
Banjo and Kazooie walks upstairs and enter this area.  
  
"Well, the door is gone." Kazooie says.  
  
Banjo quickly pulls Kazooie out of his backpack and treats her like a gun again..  
  
"We will obviously run into enemies, so might as well get used to it Kazooie." Banjo says, putting a clip in her mouth.  
  
Banjo walks upstairs..  
  
*2nd Ceiled Floor of the Whore House.*  
  
Banjo and Kazooie walk up and find an evil pimp, carrying a K7 Avenger, but Banjo quickly shoots the pimp with 5 bullets before the Pimp notices..  
  
The Pimp falls to the ground dead and 10 notes pop out of him, Banjo collects them and walks up to the next floor..  
  
*3rd Ceiled Floor of the Whore House.*  
  
A Pimp walks around with a Tommy Gun.. Banjo runs up to the Pimp and shoots him down, then the pimp falls to the ground dead and 5 notes pop out of his body.. Banjo collects the notes and continues to go up stairs.  
  
*4th Ceiled floor of the Whore House.*  
  
Banjo walks up and finds a Pimp with a Bazooka, but Banjo kills that Pimp quickly and 5 notes pop out of him, Banjo collects these also, then Banjo walks up stairs.  
  
*5th Ceiled floor of the Whore House.*  
  
Banjo slowly walks upstairs, and gets caught by a Pimp with a Pimp Gun, and the pimp starts shooting!  
  
Banjo runs to the side, and makes Kazooie spit up another 10 bullets and the Pimp falls to the ground dead, then 10 notes pop out of him, Banjo collects the notes and walks upstairs.  
  
*6th Ceiled Floor of the Whore House.*  
  
Banjo walks up, and finds a Pimp banging his head on a wall stupidly...  
  
"Why are you doing that?" Banjo asks.  
  
"Cause its the best thing to do around here!" The Pimp says, still banging his head on a wall.  
  
"Um, okay.." Banjo says..  
  
Banjo walks upstairs trying to avoid the idiotic pimp.  
  
*7th Ceiled Floor of the Whore House.*  
  
Banjo looks around and sees no-one..  
  
Banjo slowly and quietly walks forward, and puts his foot on the ground.  
  
Suddenly, a Chinese Ninja Pimp falls to the ground (Human with sunglasses, pimp hat, Ninja suit, and weapons of Ninjas and Pimps).  
  
"Stupid bear, do you really think you can surpass the barriers of humanity?" The Ninja Pimp asks.  
  
"Um, yes?" Banjo answers.  
  
"Lets see about that.." the Ninja Pimp answers, then he gets out his Large Ninja Blade sword!  
  
Kazooie quickly spits the rest of the bullets in her mouth at the Ninja, but all of the bullets hit the large sword and don't even leave a dent on it.  
  
"Fool!" the Ninja Pimp yells..  
  
The Ninja Pimp starts running towards Banjo..  
  
Kazooie quickly spits up an Ice Egg at the Sword, and it gets covered with freezing cold Ice and the Ninja drops it.  
  
The Ninja Pimp quickly gets out Five Chinese Stars.  
  
"Uh-oh." Banjo gulps.  
  
The Ninja Pimp quickly throws all the Chinese stars at Banjo, and all of them hit Banjo clothing and send Banjo to a wall with them.  
  
"Can't break free!" Banjo mumbles.  
  
Banjo tries to move, but couldn't budge..  
  
The Ninja Pimp gets out his Pimp Gun..  
  
"Time to die!" The Ninja Pimp says..  
  
The Ninja Pimp pulls the trigger, but nothing happens due to the fact he has no bullets.  
  
"Ah crap.. The only way that I can defeat you has a giant risk of getting recoil or a counter attack from you, the other way, in which taking the Chinese stars of the wall, will free you and give you a chance to attack." the Ninja Pimp complains.  
  
"You may have been lucky this round, but next time, I'll order more stock!" the Ninja Pimp says.  
  
The Ninja Pimp gets out a black ball and throws it to the ground, making smoke but lasts quickly.  
  
"Ah crap.. Cheap thing, doesn't give me enough time to escape." He says..  
  
The Ninja Pimp walks up to Banjo, and detaches all the Chinese Stars from the wall, then runs away.  
  
"Um, that was unusual, lets Continue Kazooie." Banjo says.  
  
Suddenly, a Treble Cleft Nest falls down in front of Banjo, and Banjo just walks up to it and adds it to his collection.  
  
Banjo walks upstairs.  
  
*8th Ceiled Up Floor.*  
  
Suddenly, Mumbo's Skull Music Goes on.  
  
"That's unusual.. Maybe Mumbo took care of the guy who kidnapped Tooty himself for us." Banjo says..  
  
"You must be right, there is no way this could happen so quickly." Kazooie says.  
  
Banjo Spots a Ramp to upstairs and a Gray Jinjo.  
  
"Hey, that's a fake! Kill it Kazooie!" Banjo yells.  
  
Kazooie spits out a Grenade Egg and the Grey Jinjo breaks into pieces, all cardboard pieces.  
  
Banjo and Kazooie walk upstairs.  
  
*Final Floor of The Whore House, known as the ceiled up floor.*  
  
Banjo walks up and finds Mumbo.  
  
"Hey, what happened?" Banjo asks.  
  
"I defeated the King Pimp, and took all his belongings and freed Tooty!" Mumbo says.  
  
"So that's why you have that new Pimp Cane, and new Pimp Jacket, and new Pimp Hat with Feathers. Hey, do you own all the prostitutes here now?" Banjo asks.  
  
"Come closer.. I can't hear you." Mumbo says.  
  
Banjo walks up to Mumbo.  
  
Mumbo pushes a button on his chair and suddenly all the windows ceil up and the stairs ceil up.  
  
"You dumbasses suck, you feel into my trap again! I knew you guys were so stupid that you would fall for the same trick twice!" Mumbo says.  
  
Mumbo gets out his Pimp Cane and smashes Banjo with the Gut in it!  
  
"Muah hahahahahahaha!" Mumbo yells!  
  
"I am MINGY JONGO, as you should know!" Mingy yells revealing his identity.  
  
Mingy Jongo shakes his cane and swings it and Banjo gets slammed to the other side of the room.  
  
MINGY JONGO  
  
(Crafty Shaman Impersonator who is Ruler Of Most Pimps)  
  
"Time to fight once again and die!" Mingy Jongo yells.  
  
"You're on!" Kazooie yells in response!  
  
Banjo grabs Kazooie of his backpack and treats her like a machine gun as usual.  
  
Banjo gets out a clip and puts it in Kazooie's mouth.  
  
Mingy Jongo disappears, and re-appears on the opposite side of where Banjo was looking at.  
  
Banjo quickly turns around and starts shooting non-stop, and Mingy Jongo starts repeatedly getting hit, and then gets shot till all the bullet in Kazooie's mouth are gone (all 50 bullets)..  
  
"This is not possible, extreme damage done, never harmed you." Mingy Jongo says.  
  
"We haven't even used the wonder wing yet!" Kazooie says.  
  
"Um, Kazooie, we don't have any Golden Feathers, remember, and that 1 I collected isn't the same as the ones you use." Banjo replies.  
  
"Must upgrade." Mingy Jongo says.  
  
"What the *@% are you talking about?" Kazooie yells.  
  
"My chance of defeating you is 0.1%, I must upgrade." Mingy Jongo says.  
  
"Why isn't your head twisting and falling off yet?" Kazooie asks.  
  
"Kazooie, he still has his outer layer of fake skin!" Banjo says.  
  
Mingy Jongo gets out a strange Computer chip and shoves it up has arse.  
  
"I am going to use the Irkin Army Power Expansion, downloading will take time, 1% complete." Mingy Jongo says.  
  
Kazooie starts spitting Grenade Eggs at Mingy Jongo, and all explode, destroying Mingy Jongo's entire fake layer of skin.  
  
"Give up?" Kazooie asks.  
  
"Download 99% Complete." Mingy Jongo says.  
  
Kazooie spits up more Grenade Eggs, all destroying Mingy Jongo's Pimp clothing.  
  
"100% complete.. Upgrade successful." Mingy Jongo says.  
  
"What the?" Banjo says in shock..  
  
Mingy Jongo begins to levitate and his eyes turn Bright Glowing Red This Time.  
  
"You are in for it bear! Time for special attack!" Mingy Jongo says.  
  
Suddenly, Mingy Jongo's Magic Stick disappears, then a CHAINSAW OF DOOM appears in Mingy Jongo hands!  
  
"Operation DOOM II Chainsaw will kill YOU!" Mingy Jongo yells!  
  
Mingy Jongo falls to the ground and heads toward Banjo!  
  
"That's it!" Kazooie yells.  
  
Kazooie spits an Ice Egg at the Chainsaw, and it gets covered with Ice.  
  
"Piece of cake." Kazooie says.  
  
Suddenly, the Ice melts on the Chainsaw.  
  
"Well, um, do you have any plans Banjo?" Kazooie asks.  
  
"How about Grenade Eggs." Banjo says..  
  
Kazooie starts hurling Grenade Eggs at Mingy Jongo's Chainsaw, but the Grenade Eggs don't even leave a mark on the chainsaw.  
  
"Robotic Chainsaw is made of pure Titanium, can stay any heat, so don't bother! Hahaha." Mingy Jongo laughs evil.  
  
Mingy Jongo continues to run, and Banjo gets out his Cell-Phone and dials 555-Windy..  
  
Suddenly, a breeze of wind comes in the room, and the White Muscular Jinjo appears.  
  
"Foolish Bear and Bird shouldn't have called back-up, now friends die!" Mingy Jongo says.  
  
Mingy Jongo turns around, and looks at the White Muscular Jinjo with his red-eye site, then a red outlined box appears on the White Muscular Jinjo and text appears in his vision..  
  
"Subject- WHITE MUSCULAR JINJO"  
  
"Data- female Jinjo Protector with Wind power and has muscles and Sharp teeth."  
  
"Target- Assassinate!"  
  
Mingy Jongo stops looking with his Target Vision and sees in color again.  
  
"BUFF YOU BI-ATCH!" Mingy Jongo says in a dull voice.  
  
The White Muscular Jinjo suddenly spins around Mingy Jongo and causes a Tornado, then the Tornado absorbs Mingy Jongo and he starts spinning across the room, getting his head banged on things.  
  
Mingy Jongo's chainsaw gets sucked away from his arms and suddenly, The White Muscular Jinjo smashes it into pieces by making a small cyclone that twists things around and forces them to be smashed.  
  
"I had to work hard for that, now time for wind-proof armor!" Mingy Jongo says.  
  
Suddenly, large heavy body armor spreads around Mingy Jongo's body, and he falls to the ground, then slowly gets out his Magic Metallic Stick..  
  
"Destroy the Target." Mingy Jongo mummers.  
  
Mingy Jongo slowly walks towards the White Muscular Jinjo.  
  
"Must get rid of, Armor to heavy to use any weaponry, can not use Stick.." Mingy Jongo says.  
  
Mingy Jongo walks up to the White Muscular Jinjo and punches her, sending her across the room.  
  
"Um, if I keep up the fighting, I won't even exist anymore, its best for me if I go back and train more!" the White Muscular Jinjo says, then disappears.  
  
"Coward." Kazooie complains.  
  
"Censors indicate that light-weights only need weapons to be defeated!" Mingy Jongo says.  
  
Suddenly, the heavy armor on Mingy Jongo disappears.  
  
Mingy Jongo's stick suddenly folds up into a little metallic cube, then his chest opens.  
  
"That's it, a weak spot!" Banjo says..  
  
Kazooie tosses a Grenade at Mingy Jongo's open chest, and the Grenade explodes, destroying a few wires.  
  
"All Robotic weapons destroyed and unable to cooperate with, Only Emergency weapons are capable of using!" Mingy Jongo says.  
  
"Emergency Weapons Activated!" Mingy Jongo says, then suddenly, Two large swords come out of Mingy Jongo's back, and the Mingy Jongo puts his staff away in his chest and grabs his 2 large swords.  
  
"Uh-oh.." Banjo gulps!  
  
"These swords are made of the toughest glass of all history, capable of slicing any element, and taking no damage from any Grenades and any other such material." Mingy Jongo says.  
  
Mingy Jongo makes an example by slicing his rock chair in half by slowing moving one of the swords down.  
  
"By seeing it do that much damage at its slowest speed, wait till you see it's fastest, which is capable of collapsing this building with the slightest miss!" Mingy Jongo says.  
  
"GLASS!" Banjo says!  
  
"Correct you idiotic bear!" Mingy Jongo says.  
  
Banjo gets out his Banjo and Kazooie gets out her Kazoo.  
  
"What the *@% is going on you twats?" Mingy Jongo asks.  
  
"That's right, its time for music!" Banjo says.  
  
"Horrible Music that is!" Kazooie says.  
  
"Now, 2 different Horrible songs at once!" Banjo says!  
  
"Featuring our yelling and yapping words!" Kazooie says.  
  
Banjo starts playing the music of Beebee's Kids for NES on his Banjo!  
  
Kazooie just playing the tune of ET for the Atarii really loud on her Kazoo!  
  
"NO! MUSIC OF CRAPPINESS!" Mingy Jongo yells!  
  
"Lalalala LAAAAAAAA!" Banjo yells annoyingly!  
  
"Bababababa DAAAAAAAAAA!" Kazooie yells!  
  
Suddenly, Mingy Jongo's Swords shatter to pieces.  
  
Banjo and Kazooie stop playing on their instruments and put them away.  
  
Mingy Jongo gets out his last and only Weapon, His Magic Metallic Stick!  
  
"Now its time to kill you bastards!" Mingy Jongo yells.  
  
Mingy Jongo shoots a fireball at Banjo and he falls to the ground.  
  
"Pathetic Bear, I didn't even have it adjusted, that's just 528.9486 times less powerful as my fully charged attack!" Mingy Jongo yells.  
  
Mingy Jongo begins to charge his Metallic Stick to full power.  
  
Banjo gets out his cell-phone while lying on the ground and calls the number 555-Electric!  
  
Suddenly, the cell-phone short circuits and The Yellow Muscular Jinjo pops out of the phone.  
  
"Charge attack, 90% complete!" Mingy Jongo says.  
  
The Yellow Muscular Jinjo levitates from the ground and floats above Mingy Jongo.  
  
"95% complete, full charge soon to go.." Mingy Jongo says.  
  
"Short-circuit ATTACK!" the Yellow Muscular Jinjo says.  
  
Mingy Jongo gets hit by a bolt of lightning and begins to act odd!  
  
"My cscahne fo nlilik ouy onw si ozer ot l,,o miliondz." Mingy Jongo suddenly says the strange gibberish, and then walks the opposite direction of Banjo.  
  
Suddenly, Mingy Jongo's stick explodes and Mingy Jongo's arms fly off..  
  
"Um, I think you can handle it from here." The Yellow Muscular Jinjo says and then disappears.  
  
Banjo walks up to Mingy Jongo.  
  
"Time for the deadly laser eyes!" Mingy Jongo says.  
  
"Auto-targeting enemy for homing lasers.." Mingy Jongo says.  
  
Banjo walks up to Mingy Jongo.  
  
"Target confirmed, 3.. 2.. 1.." Mingy Jongo says.  
  
Suddenly, nothing happens..  
  
"Why aren't the lasers working? I thought this came with lasers!" Mingy Jongo says.  
  
"Looks like it doesn't!" Banjo says.  
  
"Self-destruct shall be used in 5 seconds." Mingy Jongo says.  
  
"This sequence will destroy the entire city.. 5.. 4.. 3.. 2.. 1.." Mingy Jongo says, suddenly, his head falls off and he explodes to bits and 6 Jiggies pop out.  
  
"Looks like he lied about the Ghetto City part." Kazooie says.  
  
"6 Jiggies, oh well, quite unusual!" Banjo says, then he grabs the Jiggies and puts them all in his backpack.  
  
Banjo walks behind the chair Mingy Jongo was sitting in and finds a cage with Tooty in it..  
  
"Um, brother, will you please get me out of here." Tooty says.  
  
"I don't know, looks a bit too hard to open." Kazooie says.  
  
"Stop joking, this really is embarrassing brother." Tooty says.  
  
Banjo notices the cage has a card slot.  
  
Banjo gets out the keycard he had from earlier and slides it on the slot, and the cage opens.  
  
Tooty crawls out.  
  
"All right, now, could you tell us how you got kidnapped?" Banjo asks.  
  
"Well, it started when I was in Wumba's Wigwam helping her with this strange potion.. Then all the suddenly, these Pimp with guns came in! They kidnapped me and had their gun rammed in Wumba's face.. And I was also working on some strange--" Tooty says before interrupted..  
  
"Um, forget it, let's just get out of here." Banjo says.  
  
Tooty runs up to her brother and hugs him.  
  
"Wait a sec, don't tell anyone I did that!" Tooty says.  
  
"Oh god, like you can't hug your own brother!" Kazooie says.  
  
"It's the age category in which this shouldn't happen." Tooty replies.  
  
Banjo, Kazooie, and Tooty leave the building sneaking past all the pimps un- noticed.  
  
*After walking 2 blocks, Wumba's Wigwam.*  
  
Banjo, Kazooie, and Tooty walk in.  
  
"Banjo and Kazooie have brought back Tooty." Wumba says.  
  
"Look, Tooty, we can't bring you on this adventure, its way to deadly, perverted, and sick." Kazooie says.  
  
"Um, Wumba, we will be needing you to train Tooty for a while, hopefully this won't happen again.." Banjo says.  
  
Wumba gets out a Bazooka.  
  
"Hopefully it won't." Wumba replies.  
  
"Okay, now what about the thing you said you were working on?" Kazooie asks.  
  
"Oh! That's the Magic Potion." Tooty says.  
  
"Magic? What do you mean? Do you mean as in the eggs we got?" Banjo asks.  
  
"Um, I don't know what eggs you have received brother, but we have the potion anyway, just drink it." Tooty replies.  
  
Tooty hands the potion to Banjo and he drinks it 1/3 of it.  
  
Kazooie drinks the potion also drinking 1/3 of it.  
  
"Um, okay, try to keep this bottle for Mumbo." Tooty says.  
  
"Um okay sister." Banjo says, then grabs the potion from her.  
  
"UM, what just happened?" Kazooie asks.  
  
"You now have a Magic points/meter, you can now perform magic moves, but each time doing so will cost magic." Wumba says.  
  
"Okay, we better leave." Banjo says.  
  
Banjo and Kazooie leave the Wigwam.  
  
*Outside Wumba's Wigwam.*  
  
Banjo walks out and the Wigwam's entrance ceils up with Titanium, and a bunch of Turret Guns pop out of the top of the Wigwam.  
  
"Magic, my ass, this magic sounds like crap." Kazooie says.  
  
Banjo and Kazooie leave the place.  
  
*2 Blocks Later, in Ghetto City Streets.*  
  
Banjo looks around and finds a Cardboard box!  
  
"That's the one we used to enter Kazooie!" Banjo says, then they enter the box and exit the world.  
  
Well, it seems that Tooty was saved and greatfull, but yet Banjo has still many more worlds to explore. Yet, where are the Jiggy Pondums? And why did Banjo get everything in Ghetto City, because it was easy and the author made it that way? Well, the next place to stop is Jolly Roger's New Lagoon, or better yet a different name that's better, keep reading and waiting for the next chapter of, this story.. 


	6. Headed Towards A Bar

~ Last time in our story, Banjo and Kazooie completed the Ghetto City filled with pimps, altho it wasn't action packed enough..  
  
"This is boring." Banjo said, then he and Kazooie left Island of OddBallness and headed into Spiral Mountain.  
  
"Oh, what a wonderful place, no baddies, no noise, and no house, but who cares.. It's quiet." Banjo said.  
  
"Yeah, you are right, and we have no jerk to bother us." Kazooie replies.  
  
Banjo and Kazooie walk in the flowers.  
  
"Wahey!" Banjo says happily..  
  
Suddenly, a noise is heard, as if something big was dropped, and a Giant Plane passes Spiral Mountain..  
  
"Look, a plain called the Hag Fun dropped something!" Kazooie says.  
  
Suddenly, they find out its a Giant Nuclear Bomb!  
  
It hits the ground and all of Spiral Explodes to pieces and then a Witch laugh is heard all over---  
  
*Banjo's House.*  
  
Banjo gets out of bed from the covers..  
  
"Oh, it was just another dream." Banjo says..  
  
Then a pack of cigarettes with eyes walks up to Banjo.  
  
"Light me!" He says.  
  
Banjo takes a joint, lights it, then smokes it in, and out..  
  
"Good thing it's just a story.."  
  
Suddenly, Berri walks in naked!  
  
*At The Hotel.*  
  
Banjo wakes up.  
  
"Oh, it was just another dream."  
  
Suddenly, a naked Human male sexually touches Banjo.  
  
"What, I need another Joint!" Banjo says.  
  
*Back at Boggy's Igloo in Freezeezy Peak.*  
  
Banjo wakes up on a couch made of Ice..  
  
"I hate this place." Banjo says.  
  
Suddenly, cops bang down the door and enter the Igloo.  
  
"What are you doing in my dead friend's Igloo?" Banjo asks horrified!  
  
Suddenly, the Policemen get out Magnums and start shooting at Banjo!  
  
*Banjo's new House.*  
  
Banjo wakes up.  
  
"Oh, just another dream for the forth time." Banjo says.  
  
Suddenly, Gruntilda in her Skeleton form rips the door down and walks in.  
  
"Hello Gruntilda, what are you doing?" Banjo asks.  
  
"Hahahaahahahaaha!" Gruntilda laughs.  
  
"That's nice Winky." Banjo says.  
  
Gruntilda gets out a bunch of Finger Knives and puts them on all of her fingers.  
  
"This is going to hurt!" Banjo cries..  
  
Grunty Runs up to Banjo and slashes at him Non-stop till..~  
  
"Wait a second, what the hell was that?" Giro yells.  
  
"Forget it, let us continue the story, that's a bad idea for a chapter!" Conker yells.  
  
Chapter 6: The Dump, Jingaling, and the Pondum.  
  
Banjo and Kazooie exit from Ghetto City and end up in Island OddBallness Dump.  
  
*Dump Of Isle OddBallness.*  
  
Banjo looks around..  
  
Suddenly, the stink gets worse than last time.  
  
"Yuck, smells like someone put their feces all over this place, it's more worse than before!" Kazooie complains.  
  
Banjo looks around and sees a lot of piles of dung.  
  
"Yuck.. They weren't there before." Banjo complains.  
  
Kazooie goes back in Banjo's backpack and locks it.  
  
"Horrible smell.." Banjo says.  
  
"Banjo, after being in a Ghetto, you should know that there are a lot of diseases, so don't even breathe in the air, it'll poison you!" Kazooie mummers inside Banjo's BackPack.  
  
Banjo quickly holds his breath and begins to choke.  
  
"Banjo, just get your ass out of here or you'll choke to death." Kazooie says.  
  
Banjo walks across all the dung and comes near the gates they past to enter the dump.  
  
Banjo looks at the gates.  
  
"(Damn, locked in..)" Banjo thinks.  
  
Banjo decides to climb over the fence and hop off, then Banjo falls off the other side and lands on a small puddle of urine...  
  
Banjo tries to breathe in again for a while, but can't stand the smell, and his face begins to turn red.  
  
Banjo looks around and sees a sign..  
  
It says "Grunty's New Crap Factory Disposal" ..  
  
"For freaking sakes, I'm out of here." Banjo says, then his face turns blue..  
  
Banjo runs away from the area quickly and back into The New Jinjo Village.  
  
*New Jinjo Village.*  
  
A Red Jinjo walks up to Banjo!  
  
"Hello! Banjo, we have great news, Jingaling wants to talk with you again!" the Red Jinjo says with excitement.  
  
"How's that great? It doesn't make any bloody sense you freak! We can talk to him anytime we want dumbass!" Kazooie says.  
  
"Kazooie! The Jinjos are part of a royal family, don't use vulgar at a time like this!" Banjo says.  
  
"Well. Okay.. Fine.. But still, answer me you Red Jinjo." Kazooie says.  
  
"Well, he might help you on your quest to save us all!" The Red Jinjo says.  
  
"I still don't get the point of this quest! Why won't you people move back to Island Of Hags!" Kazooie yells.  
  
"Island Of Hags is now full of suicidal bombing creatures and other scary creatures now, besides, its full of guns and bombs!" the Red Jinjo replies!  
  
"Cool Banjo! Let's go!" Kazooie says happily looking for a challenge!  
  
"No! It's not what you would call a challenge and there is nothing to do there except waste time with jerks, you won't find anything helpful!" The Red Jinjo says.  
  
"Okay.." Banjo says.  
  
"Um.. Meet Jingaling! Now, and I don't mean in perverted form!" the Red Jinjo says, then walks away to his house.  
  
"I'm too tired to walk after going threw all that poo.." Banjo says.  
  
"Fine, I'll walk you.." Kazooie replies.  
  
Kazooie gets out of her legs and head out of Banjo's back back and performs the Talon Trot.  
  
Banjo and Kazooie head towards Jingaling's Throne Room and enter it.  
  
*Jingaling's Throne Room.*  
  
Banjo and Kazooie (mostly Kazooie, still Talon Trotting) walk up towards Jingaling.  
  
"Hey, what's that smell!" Jingaling yells, and gets out an Air-Freshener and sprays it around Banjo.  
  
"Um, sorry, we just got out of the dump." Kazooie says.  
  
"Oh, right.. That's where you saved my sla, er.. Friends.. They told me they were kept hostage as Prostitutes." Jingaling says.  
  
"Correct.. Now the dump is full of dung.. How about something for the help?" Kazooie asks.  
  
"I wish I could give you a gas mask to help you guys, but it was taken from me by a Squirrel while I was drunk." Jingaling says.  
  
"When?" Kazooie asks.  
  
"Well..." Jingaling begins to say his story.  
  
"It was about a year ago, around a year and one forth again.. There was new Bar, called the COCK&PLUCKER, apparently, I went to it, it had great beer and paintings and statues of great people. When I walked in, it was filled with all kinds of species, Porcupines, Squirrels, Chipmunks, Weasels, and a bunch of other species I'm to lazy too say. Anyway, the beer was so great there, I got drunk.. Very, but I didn't care, everyone knew I was King and I got free beer!"  
  
"Yeah, so what about the gas mask!" Kazooie yells.  
  
"Well.. I got very jolly, and I started swinging around. Anyway, I got out my Gas Mask and yelled, Fill it with beer.. I was so drunk, everyone said I shouldn't have anymore.. Apparently the gas mask was too small for me, and I saw this Red Squirrel, looking at my mask. He asked if I can give it to him.. I said no, he took it... I said you are welcome you jerk, and the Squirrel had some beer and left... Then I got some beer, and got more drunk.. Then I passed out.. That's all I remember. I never asked for it back."  
  
"Hmm.. Red Squirrel, are you speaking of Conker?" Banjo asks.  
  
"Um.. I guess.. I never really new his name." Jingaling replies.  
  
"What happened to your ghetto accent?" Kazooie asks.  
  
"Enough of this.. Lets go to the next discussion." Jingaling says.  
  
"(Why is it that the Bear is smaller than me, 3 and a half years ago he was bigger)." Toots thinks to himself.  
  
"Well Jingaling, the problem is, we don't know where to go to next!" Kazooie replies.  
  
"Hmm.. Now you rely on me.." Jingaling says.  
  
"Look, we need to kick the damn witch's ass and get this adventure over with!" Kazooie yells.  
  
"Well, I know that the red squirrel is going at new bars now.. Apparently, he goes to a new one only once a day, and leaves that bar permanently." Jingaling says.  
  
"So, where is this next Bar?" Banjo asks.  
  
"It's where Jolly Roger works at now.. The path there is blocked by a Giant Rock, and Bottles' family lives behind there too.. But enough of that.. You must continue, and sense JiggyWiggy is dead, you must use Jiggy Pondums!" Jingaling says.  
  
"Okay.. So how will we meet Conker?" Banjo asks.  
  
"Seeing I'm King, and I have Jinjos to do the work with Bombs, it'll be simple, however, they'll only help you this once!" Jingaling says.  
  
Jingaling taps the ground twice and a microphone falls in front of him.  
  
"Ahem.. GET THAT DANG BOULDER OUTTA OF BOTTLES' WAY BOYS!" Jingaling yells in the Microphone.  
  
*Outside Jingaling's Throne Room, New Jinjo Villiage.*  
  
Suddenly, the orange, yellow, red, black, and black Jinjos walk up to the boulder and put Dynamite near it, then they all run away!  
  
BOOOM! The rock blows up into little pieces and the path to Bottles' House is seen.  
  
*Back In Jingaling's Throne Room.*  
  
"Um, okay, now good bye!" Jingaling says.  
  
Banjo and Kazooie walk out of the room.  
  
*New Jinjo Villiage.*  
  
Banjo and Kazooie walk out of Jingaling's Throne Room and heads towards Bottles' House.  
  
"Great, the door is closed!" Banjo complains.  
  
"Then open it you idiot!" Kazooie replies..  
  
"You mean we could of done that in Banjo-Tooie the whole time? Oh well.." Banjo says, as he opens the door and enters Bottles' House.  
  
*Bottles' House.*  
  
Banjo and Kazooie walk in.  
  
"What the hell? He dug another home and put all his stuff in it!" Kazooie says freaked out.  
  
Klungo walks up to Kazooie..  
  
"Noooo! Me, Sergeant Mole, and mole with red glasses all made new home!" Klungo says..  
  
Bottles and Jamjars walk out into the lobby of the house.  
  
"All right.. Teach us new moves!" Kazooie says!  
  
"What the *@% are you talking about? You aren't going to be able to cheat here, that'd be too easy, besides, this is where we study, and the time you get here we will forget what to teach." Jamjars says.  
  
"Hey, Bottles? Why won't you teach me anything?" Kazooie says to annoy Bottles.  
  
"It's simple, it hard to come up with new moves if Jamjars teaches you some that you can use by yourself, and with Klungo teaching you odd moves, I figured I'd e better off teaching Banjo, knowing the fact that JamJars only taught Banjo 1 offensive move!" Bottles says.  
  
"What? It's not my fault the Bear doesn't know how to use guns by himself!" Jamjars answers.  
  
"Well, I can teach him easily! It doesn't matter brother, you'd teach most of the moves anyway." Bottles replies.  
  
"I teach fun moves that Kazooie use!" Klungo says.  
  
"You haven't taught them anything! You only gave Kazooie her Kazoo!" Bottles and Jamjars yell!  
  
"Enough.. I'm tired of this!" Banjo says.  
  
"Good!" Klungo, Jamjars, and Bottles reply.. Then they all sit down and get out books!  
  
Banjo and Kazooie leave the Lobby and walk into Bottles' room.  
  
*Bottles' Bed Room.*  
  
"Hello Mrs.B!" Banjo says.  
  
"Oh, hello.. Um.." Mrs.Bottles smells urine.  
  
"Take A SHOWER! NO ADVENTURERS IN MY HOUSE ALLOWED IF THEY ARE DIRTY!"  
  
Mrs. B pushes Banjo and Kazooie into a washing-machine, then she gets them when the time runs out.  
  
Mrs.B throws them on the floor.  
  
"Don't do that again!" She says.  
  
Banjo and Kazooie run out of the room, then into the lobby.  
  
*Bottles' House's Lobby!*  
  
Banjo walks past the 3 sleepers quietly into Bottles' First Son's room. They open the door and walk in!  
  
*B's son's room.*  
  
"Hello, Bottles', son.." Banjo says.  
  
"Hello, hey, guess what, I got th---"  
  
"Um, that's nice, now lose the cap." Kazooie says.  
  
Banjo and Kazooie walk out of that room and into Jamjars' room.  
  
*Jamjars' Room.*  
  
Banjo looks around, and finds grenades, guns, bunch of books, and a bed.  
  
"As expected.." Kazooie says..  
  
Banjo and Kazooie leave Jamjars' Room and Enter Klungo's.  
  
*Klungo's Room.*  
  
Banjo opens the door and walks in, he sees a bunch of potions, food, strange gadgets, and a desk.  
  
Banjo walks up to the desk and finds a Journal.  
  
"Um, should we read it?" Kazooie asks.  
  
"I should be asking that, but lets read it anyways." Banjo says.  
  
Banjo opens the Journal up and skips a few pages and stops.  
  
"Grunty's last name is WinkyBunion, I quit, I no longer call Grunty mistresss. Grunty jerk, Grunty mean, Grunty evil, Grunty is a weird female witch, Grunty this, Grunty that, I'm sick of Grunty.. I quit, me want to help Bear and Bird cause it feels right and I get free food at this house every time I help!" the Journal writing...  
  
"Let's stop reading this." Banjo says..  
  
They leave the room and enter Bottles' Daughter's room.  
  
*Bottles' Daughter's Room.*  
  
Sense this story takes place about a year and a half later, Bottles' daughter changed, but barely, only increased height by 5 inches..  
  
"Um.. Okay.. Now. I don't suppose you have anything to useful?" Kazooie asks the girl.  
  
"Well, behind my room is a secret entrance to another area of this strange Island, and I have invented something new!" she says.  
  
"What?" Banjo asks.  
  
"A useless machine that does nothing except make noises and tilts parts of it's body up and down." she says.  
  
"Okay.. How about that area?" Kazooie asks.  
  
The mole gets out a Garage Door Opener and presses the button, and suddenly, the wall infront of her tilts 90 degrees and an empty room is seen.. Banjo and Kazooie walk inside the open area.  
  
"Um.. Now what about the next thing?" Kazooie asks.  
  
Bottles' daughter hits the light switch.  
  
Suddenly, a bunch of cars are seen as the area is bright.  
  
"Um.. What next?" Banjo asks.  
  
"Look to your left!" She says.  
  
Banjo looks to his left and sees a beat up door.  
  
Banjo opens it and leaves the building..  
  
*Island Of OddBallness, Lounge Meeting Place.*  
  
Banjo walks out from the beat up door, and he closes the beat up door, however, the door falls to the ground due to the condition.  
  
Banjo looks around, and sees a sign next to a Giant Wall with a Crashed Sailor's ship on it, he walks up to it, and reads it.  
  
"Soon To Come, Jolly Roger's New Bartendan Lagoon!" was writen on it..  
  
"Hmm.. Something unusual about that boat.." Banjo mummers to Kazooie.  
  
Banjo looks around to the other side, and finds a couch and a giant Puzzle on a wall.  
  
Banjo walks up to the couch.. And then walks away.  
  
"Hmm.. Something unusual..." Banjo says..  
  
He flips the couch out and finds a Jiggy Pondum switch.  
  
"I haven't seen that sense the time we were near ClickClockWood!" Kazooie says.  
  
Banjo looks at the switch.. And Kazooie Beak Drills it!  
  
Suddenly, A Jiggy Pondum appears, on top of a giant Balloon avertising free beer thats way up in the air..  
  
"I got an Idea, lets call that Female Jinjo!" Banjo says..  
  
He gets out his Cell-Phone, Dails 555-Windy, then the White Muscular Jinjo floats above the balloon, and Pops it! Then the Jiggy Pondium begins to down!  
  
"Oh no!" Banjo yells..  
  
Suddenly, the Jinjo somehow pushes a wave of wind at the Jiggy Podum, and the Jiggy Podum fall down on the couch safely..  
  
Banjo kicks the couch over and the Jiggy Pondum falls on the ground stuck..  
  
"Um.. Okay.. I think we know how to handle it from here." Banjo says, then the White Muscular Jinjo disappears..  
  
"Hey, you just used your first magic from your Magic Meter, you lost 2 points out of 16! To refill, drink something that would refill, I'm not an expert, so feck you!" a voice exactly like Jamjars says.  
  
"Yeah, whatever." Kazooie says.  
  
Banjo and Kazooie go up to the pondum..  
  
"Hmm.. Banjo, that pondum won't work!" a voice similar to Bottles' says.  
  
"Yesss.. Grunty used spell to prevent magic force from working!" Klungo says..  
  
Banjo dials 555-Electric... Suddenly, the yellow muscular Jinjo levitates in front of Banjo.  
  
"I know the problem.. Just move." He says.  
  
Banjo and Kazooie get off the Jiggy Pondum, then the Yellow Muscular Jinjo spreads out his figures and performs his Shocker on the platform.. Suddenly, the dark yellow platform begins to golden glow.. The Jinjo dissapears.  
  
"4 points out of 16, 1/4 of enerygy missing." a voice the same as Jamjars says.  
  
Banjo and Kazooie walks on the platform and get out there Jigsaw pieces..  
  
They look at the picture with 18 Jiggies already in it..  
  
"You need 7 Golden Jiggies to enter.." a voice of Bottles' says.  
  
Banjo places 7 of his 10 Jiggies in, and suddenly a picture forms.. It's a Bottle of Beer in Jolly's Inn!  
  
Suddenly, a piece of the crashed ship falls off and a sign appears above it with the words " Jolly's Bar Lagoon!"  
  
"Well done!" Bottles says.  
  
Suddenly, a voice buts in!  
  
"Don't be so happy anymore, because sense you opened that door, Baddies will roam once more!" says Gruntilda's voice that is heard all over the Lounge Meeting Place.  
  
Suddenly, a bunch of Gruntlin Drunks (those Gruntlins in red the clothing with a skull on the back) walk out of the door of the beat up ship..  
  
"You beata gave my bear!" one of the Drunks yell!  
  
They all barf on the floor.  
  
"While you are busy, I will kill some more, just for galore!" Grunty's voice says, then fades away.  
  
The drunks walk up to Banjo and barf on the ground some more!  
  
"Yo, gave us yo steaf!" a drunk yells!  
  
"What?" Banjo asks.  
  
"Wevange!" Another drunk yells.  
  
Suddenly, all the drunks fall to the ground and sleep.  
  
"Okay, that was simple." Kazooie says.  
  
Banjo suddenly enters the beat up ship, and a witch's laugh is heard... Then it fades out.  
  
  
  
Well, it seems that Banjo figured out the way on how to get into the other worlds without JiggyWiggy, and will soon be getting the gas mask.. Who will die next? What will Banjo transform into in this level/world? And why were the drunks pathetic? Keep reading to find out later. 


	7. Jolly's Zombified Bar

"Let's make up another story that has nothing to do with this chapter!" Captain Blackeye says.  
  
"What? You're drunk!" a trout yells..  
  
"That's a yes!" Captain Blackeye says.  
  
1 Short Story: Gruntilda Time  
  
*Meanwhile, at Gruntilda's Lair.*  
  
A door swings open.. And you see Gruntilda the witch sitting on a couch with her green skin filled body.  
  
"Hello, I am Gruntilda, you strange fellow.. In order for this to work properly, the creator had to give me my old body." Gruntilda says.. Then picks her nose and tosses her snot.  
  
"What shall we talk about today?" Gruntilda asks.  
  
"Hey, do you like Wario and Waluigi?" A member of the crowd asks.  
  
"What are you talking about? I never meet those Nazis, I only saw pictures of em, besides, the Nazis are already taken by someone else!" Gruntilda yells.  
  
"Are you lesbo?" An idiot asks.  
  
"What the hell are you talking about? Don't you know my original purpose, it was to get a sexy body to have sex with all the males I pleasured.. If I was a lesbian, I'd already have sex with the all the females on the island and they would all team up with me to kill that bear and bird, but don't even get that thought, sex with Tooty and Humba Wumba, ah, scary!" Gruntilda screams.  
  
"Hey, what aren't you rhyming?" a crowd asks.  
  
"Because I don't get paid to here.. And thinking of a rhyme all the time is really hard, hey, does anyone see lard?" Gruntilda says.  
  
Suddenly, a Lardmaster 3000 falls down in front of Grunty, and blinks a lot and moves it's mouth.  
  
"It's a dream come true, a new broomstick, wahoo!" Gruntilda says, then jumps on her broomstick!  
  
"So, what did you mean by the beginning quote of see ya--"  
  
Grunty flies away on here new broomstick.  
  
"Um.. That's the end.. I guess.." the Director says.  
  
  
  
Chapter 7A: Drunk Lagoon with Zombies!  
  
*Jolly Bar Lagoon*  
  
(Banjo and Kazooie enter the new area and look around, they spot a sign)  
  
"Hey look, a Bar, only 2 Blocks away!" Banjo says!  
  
"Yeah, that's nice, but the line is 2 blocks in total!" Kazooie yells, while Banjo is by a line of bunch of drunks.  
  
Banjo taps a drunk on the back, this drunk is a Gray Soldier Squirrel around the height 4'6".  
  
"What do you want? I want a drink.. I came for, now, you want nothing!" The squirrel says.  
  
"Um.. I guess we can't skip anyone.." Banjo says.  
  
"Hey look, the line, the group, it's moving!" Kazooie says.  
  
Everyone moves 1 inch..  
  
"Great.." Banjo mummers..  
  
*Meanwhile, inside the Jolly's Bar.*  
  
Thousands of voices are heard in the bar, with drunks drinking lots of beer, all happy, and talking, all different species..  
  
"Jolly, you are disturbing me!" Conker says, sitting at the in front of all the beer served by in the Bar, besides the beer people are drinking.  
  
"Well, ew ah ew, so I got a brand new TV to watch Happy Hour with Maggie!" Jolly Roger says.  
  
Thousands of people are talking still..  
  
Jolly Roger turns on the Big Screen TV to a Happy Hour Channel, but no one cares because they are all drunks, except Jolly..  
  
"Ah god.. Jolly, give me another pint!" Conker yells..  
  
*Again, now at Castle Hag-Witch-Wizard!*  
  
"Ah bloody hell.. Seems the bear and bird are doing pretty well.. Then they will get that Gas Mask from the red Squirrel and succeed, defeat me without a hassle, no need!" Grunty in JiggyWiggy's body complains.  
  
"S.O.M. is charged up for another blast.. A big one this time!" Scrot says.  
  
"What's the use, Mumbo Jumbo will unpossess everyone, this is just abuse." Gruntilda says.  
  
"Sister, get a hold of yourself, if skull man tries to unpossess evil drunks, he will not succeed, the drunks will be just plain old angry, and still try to kill bear and bird." Mingella says.  
  
"Oh my skinny sister, you know how to cheer me up, now lets get back to blast and suck!" Gruntilda says.  
  
"The mapping system spots Bear and Bird 2 blocks away from next TV." Blobbella says.  
  
"Forget the bear, think of all the people in the bar, bye the time the bear and bird come, someone will take his place and defeat, perhaps that rumored King Squirrel, but enough of that!" Gruntilda says.  
  
Gruntilda walks up to the Controls of S.O.M.  
  
Eyes pop out of the machine.  
  
"Oh bloody hell, I hate my job, access granted, I know who you are, just blast!" The machine says after staring at Gruntilda.  
  
"Cousin, pick your best target!" Scrot adds.  
  
Gruntilda presses the auto-targeting button with JiggyWiggy's arm.  
  
"I say Jolly Roger, that bastard was one of the first people to bring misery to me yesterday night. With his torturous dancing, I demand revenge on that Frog!" Gruntilda adds.  
  
"Just because he danced?" Blobbella says confused..  
  
"He has a dance of doom, just like Island Of Hag's flume!" Gruntilda adds.  
  
The machine targets Jolly Roger at the bar, and Conker is seen in the picture.  
  
"Oh yes, this is great, we can kill two birds with one stone! And a nice body to copy too!" Grunty says.  
  
"Copying one body out of two targets in the blast may cause a somewhat glitch." Scrot adds.  
  
"What do you mean?" Grunty asks..  
  
"Both will be Zombies.." Scrot answers.  
  
"Well good, cause with the possessing system, the old squirrel friend of the bear will be his enemy!" Grunty adds.  
  
"How do you know so much about this bear?" Scrot asks.  
  
"It's simple, and quite true, if he's your enemy, you must know everything about him, in able to defeat him.." Grunty asks.  
  
"Sister, aren't you going a bit to far, just to get rid of the bear and bird?" Blobbella asks.  
  
"No you fool, I'm destroying most of the world.. With bear and bird, plus their friends done, all next is to target lazy heroes on breaks, and all the mission will be done!" Gruntilda says.  
  
"But sister---" Blobbella gets smacked before finishing.  
  
"Now let us kill 2 birds with just one stone! Or 2 creatures.." Grunty says.  
  
Gruntilda pushes the broadcast button all excited!  
  
The machine charges up.. Very quickly.. THEN IT FIRES!  
  
*Inside Jolly's New Bar.*  
  
"Look, Jolly, don't you get sick of re-runs!" Conker asks.  
  
"Oh, oh, oh, well, whats your problem with Happy Hour." Maggie Malpass asks.  
  
"Everyone look at the screen or never get served beer again!" Jolly Roger yells.  
  
Everyone looks at the TV.  
  
*At Banjo's location, 1 Block and several yards from the Jolly's Bar.*  
  
"*Yawn.* Banjo, this line is to long!" Kazooie complains.  
  
"We have plenty of time Kazooie!" Banjo says.  
  
"Yeah, well what about that witch?" Kazooie asks madly.  
  
"Don't worry---" Banjo quickly gets cut off from a light in the sky and a loud familiar noise.  
  
Suddenly, the Blast heads strait towards Jolly's Bar!  
  
"NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT! DID YOU SEE THAT YOU IDIOT!" Kazooie yells loud as possible.  
  
The drunken squirrel in front of them turns around.  
  
"Probally just a new thingy ma jig for the bar to look speeciaalll!" the drunk replies.  
  
The blast ray is still seen flashing and making loud rumbling!  
  
*Inside Jolly's Bar.*  
  
The Giant Screen TV begins to show very ugly naked bodies, they move, they turn purple, grow pimples, and warts.. Then feces get poured on them.  
  
"This is sick!" Conker yells, being the only drinker awake!  
  
Suddenly, the bodies become EXTREMELY *CENSORED* !  
  
Conker, Maggie, and Jolly Roger fall to the ground fainted, while all the drunks are asleep!  
  
*Back at Castle Hag-Witch-Wizard, for the fifteenth threw twentieth time!*  
  
"Oh jolly! Instead of two targets, I got three! Copy the squirrel body for me. Suck the life force too!" Grunty says happily.  
  
"Hmm. That's a pure result of survival for them, of course, in zombie form!" Scrott adds.  
  
"I do not care, as long as I get that body and less helpful friends for that bird and bear, so just be jolly.." Grunty says, then she pushes Collect..  
  
*Outside Jolly New Bar, 1 block and several inches.*  
  
"Banjo.. That was very odd! And obviously we know what it was!" Kazooie says..  
  
"Um, well, lets not go for a while and just wait."  
  
Suddenly, another huge blast comes from the sky, and heads towards Jolly's New Bar.  
  
The color of the bar suddenly changes colors, from Brown to gray.  
  
*Inside Jolly Roger's New Bar!*  
  
A huge blast hits Conker, Maggie, and Jolly, then dissapears.  
  
Suddenly, Conker, Maggie, and Jolly rise from the ground.. As Zombies, or better known as fighting blood thirsting creatures with the traits of a Drunk..  
  
The TV explodes and the Drunks wake up and find the three new Zombies.  
  
"Hey, you forget how to serve beer?" a drunk asks.  
  
The 3 Zombies make a noise.  
  
"This is an outrage, we drunks.. Need.. Ah forgeit ite! We, um, eat people too, and, stuff!" The drunk says, then falls to the ground fainted.  
  
*Back at Castle Hag-Witch-Wizard.*  
  
"Ha, ha, ha! Look at the zombies and the drunks! They are so funny! Ha ha ha! " Gruntilda laughs while watching the spy monitor TV.  
  
"Yes, however cousin, the drunks may be unpossess proof, but they aren't reliable to succeeding!" Scrot adds.  
  
"So what, as long as they annoy Banjo, barf on him, smoke near him, hit him with their bottles, fall on them, and prevent Banjo and Kazooie from succeeding, they are good enough!" Gruntilda says.  
  
"Drown in barf, yes.." Blobbella adds.  
  
"(When do I get to do anything, these witches are boring)" Blobbella's cat thinks to it's self.  
  
"That cat gets to do whatever it wants, as long as it is useful." Scrot says.  
  
"(What the?)" The cat thinks to itself.  
  
"(Yes, I can read your mind too!)" Scrot says telepathically to the cat.  
  
"Yes, now lets have a blast!" Mingella adds!  
  
Suddenly, EVERYONE LAUGHS, then they stop..  
  
Then a witch laughing recording goes on and fades out.  
  
*Back at Jolly's Bar Lagoon, 6 yards from the Entrance of the Bar.*  
  
"Let's check it out, now!" Kazooie says.  
  
Suddenly, the drunk in front of Banjo leaves the line and exits the Lagoon.  
  
"Well.. Down.." Kazooie says..  
  
Suddenly, the line turns around, and all the drunks run up to Banjo.  
  
"Well, looks like I have fans here!" Banjo says.  
  
"You.. You, dream thingy stealer!" a drunken Dung Beetle says.  
  
All the Drunks surround Banjo.  
  
"Uh-oh!" Banjo gulps.  
  
Kazooie pops out of Banjo's backpack.  
  
"Banjo, they are drunks! How hard can a bunch of drunken people be?" Kazooie asks.  
  
Suddenly, the Dung Beetle barfs on Banjo, then the Beetle falls asleep.  
  
Banjo wipes off the barf.  
  
"Wait, you still got 20 of us left you 3 bears and birds!" a drunken Caveman says.  
  
Kazooie pecks the Caveman and the drunken cave guy falls to the ground.  
  
Banjo looks around and notices out 6 drunks around him.  
  
"U weana peace to mie?" a drunken pig asks.  
  
Banjo punches the drunken pig in the face, the drunk falls to the floor..  
  
"Oh please, how pathetic." Kazooie says.  
  
The 5 remaining drunks get knocked out by Banjo's fist.  
  
"Well.. That's done.. Let's get in the Bar." Banjo says.  
  
(They open the door in front of them, walk in, and close it.)  
  
*Jolly's Zombified Bar!*  
  
(Banjo and Kazooie enter and find a bunch of kegs filled with beer, and notice the floor and walls are gray.)  
  
"Um, Banjo, lets not become pissed right now, okay." Kazooie says.  
  
Banjo and Kazooie walk past the kegs and find Conker, Jolly Roger, and Merry Maggi Malpass about several feet away.  
  
They notice that Conker is brown colored, Merry Maggie Malpass is light gray, and Jolly Roger is just, gray.  
  
"Well.. They are either drunk or Zombies." Kazooie states.  
  
"Um.. Are you sure." Banjo asks.  
  
Kazooie looks at Jolly Roger and notices a sad face of horror.  
  
"Um. You got a point.. Jolly isn't his Jolly old self, and they are pretty odd colors today." Kazooie says.  
  
"Well, seems that not only is my old friend Boggy dead, same for his family, but now my old friend Conker is dead." Banjo says.  
  
"It doesn't matter, it's been more than a year sense you last meet him." Kazooie says.  
  
Banjo walks up a several feet.  
  
Suddenly, Conker, Maggie, and Jolly Roger begin to move, moaning.  
  
They walk up to Banjo..  
  
"Hello guys.." Banjo says.  
  
They punch Banjo in the face, then Jolly grabs Banjo by the neck and throws him across the bar, Banjo hits a wall and slowly slides down.  
  
"That's it, let's beat them up a lot like we did to Jingaling once!" Kazooie yells.  
  
"No.. Just forget it Kazooie." Banjo says.  
  
"Beware.. Of the Manly Fish, and His Brother…" Zombified Jolly Roger says in a dull and slow tone.  
  
"My life was horrible.. I'd like to dance." Zombiefied Maggie says.  
  
"I heard the Tediz are back , and another war is about to start again, but not just the Tediz, but several thousand more species as well." Zombified Conker says slowly and dull.  
  
"I saw a man with a strange mask one day saying kill the bear and bird, then he disappeared and claimed to be in a Crap factory somewhere." Zombiefied Maggie says slowly.  
  
"That's enough, let just steal the gas mask and leave!" Kazooie says.  
  
Kazooie pecks Conker in the face and Conker falls to the ground and drops his Gas Mask.  
  
"Yes.. We have it!" Kazooie says, the Banjo takes it and puts it in his backpack.  
  
"Why did I have to be so harmed for a death!" Zombified Conker says.  
  
"Um.. Sorry." Banjo replies, and then quickly leaves.  
  
"The secret of Stop&Swop is--"  
  
*Outside Jolly's Bar.*  
  
Banjo and Kazooie walk out and find Drunks.  
  
"AUGH!" a drunken Monkey says.  
  
Banjo punches the drunk in the face, then Banjo leaves, avoiding the idiotic drunks.  
  
*Near the Big Lagoon, 1 Block away.*  
  
(Banjo and Kazooie walk near a lake.)  
  
"Well, I suppose we are suppose to dive in it?" Kazooie says.  
  
"Nah.." Banjo says..  
  
Banjo looks around, and sees a building called Bullion Bill's INN.  
  
Banjo and Kazooie walk into the building.  
  
*Bullion Bit's Inn.*  
  
(Banjo and Kazooie walk in.)  
  
"What the hell are you doing near a Lagoon you damn miner!" Kazooie yells.  
  
"Um.. Well, just wanted to back in the ol' outdoors.. All I could find that was nice is this place to live in." Bullion Bill answers.  
  
The rat named Dilberta jumps up and backflips.  
  
"Right.. Um.. Do you have a Jiggy we could keep?" Kazooie asks.  
  
"Um.. No, I have a Jiggy, but you'll need to earn it!" Bullion Bill.  
  
"YOU GOD DAMN RAT *@%ING ASSHOLE! WE NEED IT NOW! OR ELSE DIE!" Kazooie yells.  
  
"Language.." Bullion Bill replies.  
  
"Um, why won't you give us your Jiggy?" Asks Banjo.  
  
"Well, one reason is the fact that its stuck in an oil Machine from Ghetto City to here. The machine was destroyed by mean ghetto people living in Garbage cans." Bullion Bill says.  
  
"Hmm.. You expect us to go threw?" Kazooie asks.  
  
"Well.. There is a short-cut… I ceilded it up.." Bullion Bill says.  
  
"Why is this an Inn anyways?" Banjo asks.  
  
"Because it is!" Bullion Bill replies.  
  
Suddenly, a bed falls down from a wall.  
  
"Very old." Kazooie replies.  
  
Suddenly, Split-Up pads appear next to the Bed.  
  
"Whopee! I get to go to sleep! Kazooie, you do the work!" Banjo says happily.  
  
"But.. But, but." Kazooie repeats..  
  
"No buts." Banjo says, then falls asleep.  
  
"(Fatass bear.)" Kazooie says in her head.  
  
Kazooie hurls a Grenade Egg at the ceiled up path and Enters it.  
  
*Ghetto City Mines.*  
  
(Kazooie ends up in a tunnel.)  
  
"Hmm. Damn Banjo, making me do all the work.." Kazooie complains.  
  
Kazooie walks further and finds a Garbage can.  
  
"Well gee, I wonder what's in here.." Kazooie pretends to wonder, then kicks over the garage can.  
  
Suddenly, a Skunk falls out..  
  
"Yo, I is gonna get ya fo that bitch!" The skunk yells.  
  
Kazooie kicks the skunk in the Testicles and the bum falls to the ground..  
  
Kazooie walks further and finds a ceilded up wall..  
  
Kazooie coughs up her last Grenade Egg on the wall and the wall breaks apart reveiling an exit.  
  
(Kazooie walks out)  
  
*Ghetto City, Streets.*  
  
(Kazooie walks out and sees a house made of wood, she enters it.)  
  
*Ghetto City, Wooden House Hideout.*  
  
Kazooie walks in and looks around, she sees a giant yellow switch with wires connected to it.  
  
"Geesh.. I wonder what the hell this does." Kazooie says sarcastically.  
  
Kazooie walks up to it and the sits on it.  
  
Suddenly Sirens go on!  
  
*Back at Jolly Bar Lagoon, Bullion Bill's Inn.*  
  
"Wake up! The damn Jiggy is in hand of Ghetto Murders!" Bullion Bill yells!  
  
Banjo wakes up and runs in threw the path Kazooie took, and finds the exit.. Banjo walks in the hut.  
  
*Ghetto City, House Hideout.*  
  
Banjo walks in.  
  
"Um.. Why is there a siren on?" Banjo asks.  
  
"I don't know… Um.. The switch is stuck.. Might as well leave it." Kazooie says, then hops in Banjo's back-pack.  
  
Beaver walks in.  
  
"Don't make a move! Or else robbers!" the Beaver says.  
  
Suddenly, a latter to the basement appears, while the sirens are still on..  
  
"Um.. Good bye.." Banjo says, the jumps in the basement.  
  
*Ghetto City, Basement of House Hideout.*  
  
(Banjo and Kazooie fall down, and the Beaver does the same.)  
  
"That's it, if you are gonna steal our stolen goods, to bad!" the Beaver yells, then gets out a small pistol..  
  
"Meanwhile you are at it boss, don't forget it!" a voice heard says.  
  
Suddenly, lights go on, and then a bunch of beavers with weapons are seen.  
  
"Well, to bad this is the end." The Beaver Mob Boss says.  
  
Banjo pulls Kazooie out of his Back-Pack!  
  
"No it's not!" Banjo yells.  
  
Banjo stuffs a clip in Kazooie's mouth and Kazooie shoots out all the bullets all the Beavers.  
  
"Hmm.. Not right." The Mob Boss Beaver says.  
  
The Mob Boss Beaver runs upstairs.  
  
Suddenly, the house begins to rumble..  
  
*Outside the Hideout House.*  
  
A giant oil digging machine starts to work again, and suddenly, it digs out a Jiggy.  
  
The Jiggy falls down in the chimney of the Hideout House.  
  
*Ghetto City, Hideout House Main Floor.*  
  
(Banjo climbs the latter with Kazooie in his back pack and finds the Jiggy in front of him.)  
  
Banjo jumps up and walks up to the Jiggy.  
  
"No, ya dumbass, no!" The Mob Boss Beaver says.  
  
The Mob Boss Beaver Grabs the Jiggy and his followers walk in!  
  
"Get that Bear and Bird, while I deal with the Fox again!" the Mob Boss Beaver says, then runs out of the house!  
  
Banjo pulls out Kazooie from his Back pack and puts in another clip!  
  
The Beaver Followers get out their M16s!  
  
"What the hell! RUN FOR IT!" Kazooie yells!  
  
Kazooie quickly puts out her legs and runs with Banjo out of the Hideout House.  
  
*Ghetto City, Streets.*  
  
Kazooie still performs the Talon Trot and meets up with the Mob Boss Beaver.  
  
"You'll never get away!" Kazooie yells!  
  
The Mob Boss Beaver runs into the mines of Ghetto City!  
  
Kazooie with Banjo does the same!  
  
*Ghetto City, Mines.*  
  
"Give up!" Kazooie yells.  
  
"Never!" the Mob Boss Beaver yells, then puts the Golden Jiggy between his teeth and gets out a Tommy Gun!  
  
Banjo suddenly gulps.  
  
Kazooie jumps up with the weight of Banjo, and Kicks the Mob Boss Beaver in the Face, then Mob Boss Beaver drops his Jiggy and falls to the floor.  
  
Banjo grabs the Jiggy while Kazooie still runs!  
  
Suddenly, the Mob Boss Beaver gets back up, mad, and then his Beaver Followers with M16's run in!  
  
Kazooie runs towards a steel door.  
  
The door opens and quickly opens.  
  
*Jolly Bar Lagoon, Bullion Bill's Inn..*  
  
Kazooie runs in with Banjo.  
  
"The Mob Boss Beaver, he, he is--"  
  
"I know, I know." Bullion Bill says.  
  
"Dilberta, get out the bomb!" Bullion Bill yells.  
  
Dilberta gets out a bomb from the closet, kicks it to Bullion Bill.  
  
Bullion Bill lights the Bomb, throws it past the steel door..  
  
Bullion Bill quickly runs up to the Steel Door, locks it, and the Bomb explodes and the noise of body parts and blood falling to the ground is heard.  
  
"Um.. Sorry about that.. Now keep the Jiggy!" Bullion Bill says.  
  
Banjo puts the Jiggy in his backpack..  
  
"Um, that was unusual, but lets continue." Kazooie says.  
  
Banjo and Kazooie leave the hotel.  
  
  
  
Um.. Yes.. That was an unusual chapter.. But its suppose to be! Stay tuned for the next!  
  
  
  
I didn't exactly kill him, he needed that to happen to him, because no-one cares about the Toad Merry Malpass and the frog Jolly Roger. In order to make it a somewhat sad thing, instead of a celebration, I had to put in a character everyone likes, besides, Conker will be revived, later in the story, as well as other characters.  
  
  
  
"WHY DID YOU KILL CONKER!" a man yells.  
  
"Hey, he's not really dead, technically he is still alive, he is just, Permantly drunk!" the author says.  
  
"Besides, everyone would be just to happy if Merry Maggie and Jolly Roger died, so we put in Conker." Gregg says.  
  
The man throws garbage at the writers.  
  
"Um, go look at Ranjo-Kazooie, so you'll realize um.. Oh bloody hell." Gregg says.  
  
Chapter7B: Place of the Drunks.  
  
Banjo and Kazooie go outside and see some more drunks.  
  
"Yo, I need my bear, or I'll eat you up!" a drunk says.  
  
"Shut the hell up, something horrible happened, no time for comedy!" Banjo yells.  
  
"Get over it Banjo." Kazooie replies.  
  
"Duh, okay, I'll shutup." the drunk says.  
  
Banjo and Kazooie look around and head towards the lake they passed before.  
  
"Something unusual here!" Kazooie yells.  
  
"What? The fact we never went in?" Banjo asks.  
  
"NO! The water level is lowering!" Kazooie yells.  
  
"Maybe it's the moon?" Banjo says.  
  
"It isn't night yet, Banjo." Kazooie says.  
  
*Back at CASTLE Hag-Witch-Wizard.*  
  
Gruntilda is seen with Conker's body, however, sense Conker is known to be short, Gruntilda isn't at a proper height.  
  
"Hmm.. I think something is wrong.." Gruntilda adds.  
  
"What is it now!" Scrot yells.  
  
"I need to make head change." Gruntilda says.  
  
"That would require a brain transplant." Blobbella adds.  
  
"Actually, with the technology. You can make one, although fake." Scrot says.  
  
Scrot goes up towards his message control screen, then hits the order button.  
  
*In the Tallest's Room.*  
  
"Another message, how many were there today?" Purple complains.  
  
"Um, why bother checking." Red replies.  
  
"Red, you go check it." Purple says.  
  
"Why do I have to check?" Red asks.  
  
"Because of the.. the.. um, your lasers.." Purple answers.  
  
Suddenly, a laser hits Purple in the left eye.  
  
"DAMN IT! WHEN WILL IT STOP!" Purple yells!  
  
"Um, okay.. Lets see the message." Red says, then walks up to a Giant Screen.  
  
Suddenly, Scrot's head is seen again.  
  
"Oh no, not again, that rejected person wanting stuff in his perverted and odd location." Red says.  
  
"Um, hello, I'd like another shipment." Scrot says.  
  
"Um, hold on, we might be busy." Red says.  
  
Red walks up to Purple.  
  
"You think we should play a joke on him?" Purple whispers.  
  
"Hmm, not such a bad idea." Red replies.  
  
Red turns around.  
  
"Um, apparently, we decided to take a break in our busy schedule, to, talk to you..." Red says then suddenly pauses.  
  
"I want A new upgrade! I need a certain module to change heads of people nad-" Scrot almost says before laughing is heard.  
  
"Hahahahahahahahaha! Did you hear that, how pathetic, such an old class device needed, and doesn't even know the name of it!" Purple says, then continues laughing some more!  
  
"What's so funny?" Scrot asks.  
  
"Um, nothing except we, um, thought we had alot of them but only have one, so, we might as well send it." Red says.  
  
"I live at Castle Hag-Witch-Wizard, Island OddBallness!" Scrot says.  
  
"Okay.." Purple says calmly.  
  
Scrot logs out.  
  
"Hahahahahahaha!" The Tallest burst out laughter!  
  
"Let's send a funny joke package!" Purple says, then continues to laugh.  
  
"Okay, but let's do the same to Zim!" Red says.  
  
*Irken Object Shipment base.*  
  
Suddenly, two packages fall in front of the slave worker.  
  
"Hmm, Zim, and Scrot, lets mix them up again!" the slave package guy says.  
  
"Hey, I thought I told you to shut up!" a muscular slave driver with a whip in his hand says.  
  
"You need to be quiet, I can't concentrate on delivering!" the slave package worker yells.  
  
"Oh, okay, just hurry up.. And, I will kill you if you don't." the muscular slave driving Irken with a whip says.  
  
The slave driver, once again changes the packages.  
  
"Muah ha ha ha ha ha!" the worker laughs evilly.  
  
"If you don't stop doing that, um, I'll have to hit you with my whip!" the slave driver yells.  
  
"Oh shutup!" the slave irken replies.  
  
*On the Irken Supply Thingy Planet Like, thing!*  
  
A cannon aims at the same planet as last time! Then fires the package across the galaxy.  
  
*Island OddBallness, Castle Hag-Witch-Wizard.*  
  
The package enters the atmosphere and crashes down in front of the entrance to the Castle.  
  
Everyone in the castle runs downstairs and stop by the box outside.  
  
"What is this?" Gruntilda asks.  
  
"I think its what I ordered." Scrot says.  
  
Scrot opens the package, and a giant robotic pepper spray can lifts up from the box and sprays on Blobbella's eyes.  
  
"Ahhhh! MY EYES! I CAN'T SEE!" Blobbella yells.  
  
Blobbella starts running around in circles complaining about her eyes.  
  
Mingella looks in the box and sees a paper.  
  
She picks it up and reads it out loud.  
  
"Hey Zim, you can rule the Earth easily if you, RUN AROUND NAKED IN PUBLIC Earth streets.. And then you have to fall in a crater or go to Area 51." Mingella reads out loud.  
  
"Um, who is Zim?" Gruntilda asks.  
  
"Um, don't know, but we must have received the wrong package.  
  
*Meanwhile, Zim's house.*  
  
"Scrot, leave us alone you perverted freak, now don't order again unless you want a fragile bomb to explode on your Island?" Zim says confused with a paper in his hand.  
  
"Yay! Scrot owns an Island!" GIR says.  
  
*Back to our main characters.*  
  
"This is really annoying, it seems the Gruntilda is getting most of the fame!" Kazooie says.  
  
"Well, her name is in the title." Banjo says.  
  
"Let's continue our strange adventure.." Kazooie then says.  
  
They walk into Mumbo's skull.  
  
*Mumbo's Skull.*  
  
Banjo and Kazooie look around, and spot, 5 notes.  
  
"This is getting odd, more collecting, boo." Kazooie complains.  
  
Banjo grabs the five notes, then walk upstairs and stop in front of Mumbo.  
  
"Welcome again bear and bird." Mumbo says.  
  
"We don't have a Glowbo." Banjo says.  
  
"Oh, good, put it in bag." Mumbo says.  
  
Banjo does nothing.  
  
"Um, didn't you hear us say we don't have a Glowbo?" Kazooie says.  
  
"Why are you here?" Mumbo asks.  
  
"We are here to, um.. Give you a potion!" Banjo says.  
  
Banjo gets out a potion he got from Tooty.  
  
"Potion from Wigwam, not sure." Mumbo says.  
  
"Oh come on, Mumbo, it's not poison." Banjo says.  
  
"OR is it!" Mumbo adds.  
  
"I'm not gonna waste my time, sitting here, drink it you freak!" Kazooie says.  
  
Banjo gets out the potion and walks up to Mumbo.  
  
"Mumbo not drink." Mumbo says.  
  
Kazooie grabs the potion from Banjo, Banjo grabs Mumbo by the head and holds his mouth open, and Kazooie forces all the liquid down Mumbo's mouth.  
  
Banjo forces Mumbo's mouth closed and Mumbo swallows the liquid.  
  
Banjo lets go.  
  
"You help kill Mumbo, you get half the money you would if you didn't do that!" Mumbo says.  
  
"You are still alive masked feck." Kazooie says.  
  
"What did you do?" Mumbo asks.  
  
Jamjars runs in.  
  
"You have a meter after drinking a liter! You can now use more powerful Magic without going threw a havoc, so go do some stuff while I drink duff!" Jamjars says, then leaves.  
  
"What the hell!" Kazooie yells.  
  
"Mumbo got useless Magic meter, I could have had infinite supply of slightly weaker." Mumbo says.  
  
"Isn't that what a Glowbo is for?" Banjo asks.  
  
"Wait, I can use Magic without Glowbo! This is good, no need to kill pink creature every time now!" Mumbo says.  
  
"Mumbo can now save lots of money, Mumbo can become pimp, Mumbo can own a Car, Mumbo can pay mortgage!" Mumbo say happy.  
  
"Well, now that you don't need a Glowbo, help us, and don't be a pimp, Wumba will kill you!" Banjo says.  
  
"Okay.. You stay here while Mumbo kick ass!" Mumbo says.  
  
Mumbo runs downstairs and leaves.  
  
*Jolly Bar Lagoon.*  
  
Mumbo walks outside and sees drunks, and also notices the sunsets and the moon is in the sky.  
  
"Give us beer or die!" a drunk says.  
  
"You drunks are pathetic." Mumbo says.  
  
"We need beer, and we will kill for it."  
  
*At Castle Hag-Witch-Wizard, yawn, again, last time in this chapter.*  
  
"Yes, I had a feeling we would have it." Scrot says, looking in his suitcase and getting out the head modifier.  
  
"Wait a sec.. What is the use of the drunks?" Gruntilda asks (still in Conker's body)  
  
"It's quite simple, sense the beer amount in the city is disappearing, the drunks will become insane without a hangover, fully capable of killing.. Plus they are unpossess proof." Mingella says.  
  
"But wouldn't the plan back-fire?" Blobbella says.  
  
Everyone except Blobbella's cat look at Blobby.  
  
"SHUT THE HELL UP!" everyone yells at Blobbella.  
  
Suddenly, a psycho with a gray mask/ helmet covering his entire head walks in.  
  
"Looks like you failed!" Scrot says.  
  
"Yes, but let me tell you… That--"  
  
"I'll give you a second chance, only a second one, Sayco." Scrot says, revealing the mind controlling human's name.  
  
"Okay.. Thanks, next time, I'll do something very horrible.. That'll make the bear and bird doomed, doomed, doomed, doomed, doomed, doomed, doomed, doom--"  
  
"SHUT THE *@% UP SAYCO, we know what you are going to try to do!" everyone, even Blobbella, yell!  
  
"Oh, sorry, but I promise I'll play with them, and I won't be in most of the action.. Yes, play, its so fun, play of sexy doom!" Sayco says insanely.  
  
"Yeah, whatever, perv." Everyone says.  
  
"I'll study their weaknesses for a while.. I might as well go." Sayco says.  
  
Sayco suddenly vanishes.  
  
"Ow! I hit a wall!" Invisible Sayco says.  
  
Sayco is heard yelling all over the Castle but not seen.  
  
"Oh well, I'm star! Let's have some fun! And not in a sexual way unless I have a sexy body.." Gruntilda says.  
  
Suddenly, everyone laughs again! Then Scrot coughs, but everyone else continues to Laugh!  
  
*Back at Jolly Bar Lagoon.*  
  
"Mumbo perform more Magic!" Mumbo says.  
  
Mumbo gets out bag.  
  
"Wait.. Glowbo is needed for this." Mumbo says.  
  
Mumbo looks around and sees a drunken Glowbo.  
  
Mumbo grabs it and shoves it in his bag, then kills it.  
  
"Bear and Bird must have lied, Magic Meter crap useless." Mumbo says.  
  
Jamjars runs in front of Mumbo.  
  
"You can perform a Super Spell with the magic meter, different than regular spells which require no magic." Jamjars says.  
  
"Shut up, Mumbo knows what to do, go the hell away, only needed for new moves, not crap I know!" Mumbo complains.  
  
"But--"  
  
"But nothing, watch as Mumbo perform regular spell that is useful!" Mumbo says.  
  
"Let's see then you freak shaman!" Jamjars replies.  
  
Mumbo puts his Mouth near his bag and begins to sing!  
  
UNPOSSESS  
  
(Drunks near Mumbo)  
  
"Eakum Bokum Eakum Bokum Eakum Bokum, Majuju Boo, Majuju Boo, Eakum Bokum Eakum Bokum Eakum Bokum EAT YOU UP!" Mumbo sings.  
  
Suddenly five drunks walk up to Mumbo.  
  
"Told you it would work!" Mumbo says.  
  
All the Drunks punch Mumbo in the face and he falls to the ground.  
  
"Mumbo did something wrong." Mumbo mummers.  
  
The drunks punch Mumbo five more times and walk away.  
  
Mumbo gets back up.  
  
"See, now try a Super Spell, to do so, just say, SUPER SPELL!" Jamjars says.  
  
"That is stupid, makes Mumbo look like amateur, damn Humba Wumba's horrible potion." Mumbo says..  
  
"Just do it!" Jamjars says.  
  
"SUPER, SPELL!" Mumbo yells annoyed.  
  
Mumbo puts the face near his mouth again and sings..  
  
SUPER SPELL: UNPOSSESS  
  
(All drunks in the Lagoon)  
  
"Eakum Bokum Eakum Bokum Eakum Bokum, Majuju Boo, Majuju Boo, Eakum Bokum Eakum Bokum Eakum Bokum EAT YOU UP!" Mumbo sings.  
  
Suddenly, thousands of angry drunks run towards Mumbo and Jamjars!  
  
"Uh-oh." Mumbo says..  
  
All the drunks stop in front of Jamjars and Mumbo and beat both of them up!  
  
A drunk barfs on Jamjars and Mumbo, another hits both on the head with his Empty Bear bottle (cracking it into pieces).  
  
*Inside Mumbo's Skull.*  
  
A lot of banging is heard.  
  
"Um, how much longer till Mumbo is done?" Banjo asks.  
  
"Your voice is making me sick, can't you see I am playing Mumbo's Making Doom Advanced!" Kazooie yells at Banjo while playing with Mumbo's Gameboy Advanced.  
  
"But Kazooie, shouldn't we help?" Banjo asks.  
  
"NO! Now shutup!" Kazooie yells.  
  
*Half an Hour later in Mumbo's Skull.*  
  
Mumbo comes in with casts all over his body, riding on a wheelchair.  
  
"Um, Mission Failed." Mumbo says.  
  
Jamjars comes in with Casts and a wheelchair also.  
  
"Um.. Eh, you lost 1/16 of your magic meter Mumbo.." Jamjars says.  
  
"Um, well, okay bear, it seems that the drunks are turning smarter and more evil, there is no solution." Mumbo says.  
  
"Hey, Jamjars, since you are here, I guess you can teach us everything!" Banjo says.  
  
"What! NO!" Jamjars yells..  
  
"Tell us Jamjars." Kazooie says.  
  
"Ah fine.. Cheater.. 105 notes, stuff, fine, I teach you." Jamjars says.  
  
"What?" Banjo asks.  
  
"You have enough notes for the move." Jamjars says.  
  
"Okay.. Teach us." Kazooie says.  
  
Jamjars gets out his stick and starts moving again.  
  
Getting Drunk  
  
"When you are low on health and wish not to be! Drink some beer for recovery! You'll get drunk, yes it's quite true, using your pee is needed to survive too! After done with the bladder your have a hangover, and use some quick sober to get the job down instead of depending on your damn lucky four leaf clover!" Jamjars says.  
  
"What?" Banjo asks.  
  
"I'm teaching you how to get drunk, which is very true, now drink some beer and make a giant smiley face too." Jamjars says.  
  
"Isn't this ripping off Conker?" Kazooie asks.  
  
"He is dead, er, undead, but you can't use the move anyway Kazooie, well, you can get drunk, but that's it!" Jamjars says.  
  
"What is the point of this immature move? Mumbo don't get it." Mumbo asks.  
  
"Oh course you don't get it, you shaman creature." Jamjars says.  
  
"Can we perform the move separate?" Banjo asks.  
  
"Yes, both of you can, of course, only you can urinate." Jamjars says.  
  
"What's the point of me getting drunk then?" Kazooie asks.  
  
"I don't know, fit in with the crowd, now good bye." Jamjars says.  
  
Jamjars rides his wheelchair out of the skull.  
  
"Mumbo have idea.." Mumbo says.  
  
"What is it?" Banjo asks.  
  
"Lets make the drunks happy!" Mumbo says.  
  
"How do we do that without getting killed?" Banjo asks.  
  
"Good point." Mumbo says..  
  
"Um, okay, good bye." Banjo says..  
  
Banjo and Kazooie walk outside the skull.  
  
"Wait! YOU FORGOT TO GIVE ME BACK MY GAMEBOY ADVANCED!" Mumbo yells.  
  
*Jolly Bar Lagoon.*  
  
Banjo and Kazooie walk outside and notice the lake is fully evaporated.  
  
Banjo and Kazooie walk in where the lake used to be and inspect it.  
  
"Um, this is unusual.." Banjo says.  
  
"Banjo! Something is up! Face it!" Kazooie yells.  
  
Banjo suddenly notices a small crack on the ground.  
  
"What is this?" Banjo asks.  
  
Banjo walks up to the crack, suddenly it widens and Banjo and Kazooie fall in.  
  
*Jolly Bar Lagoon, In the lake caverns.*  
  
Banjo and Kazooie fall all the way down and hit solid ground.  
  
"Ow.." Banjo complains.  
  
Banjo gets back up and looks around, notices unusual structure, and finds a Blue Jinjo.  
  
"Pick me up you dumbarse!" the Jinjo yells!  
  
Banjo walks up to the Blue Jinjo, and the Jinjo spins around and disappears.  
  
Suddenly, it turns out the light Blue Jinjo was on a strange switch, and the water level rises up, however, not high enough..  
  
Banjo looks up and still sees the crack while he swims on the surface.  
  
"Damn it! Get this damn thing over with, I wanna go home and watch porn!" Kazooie yells.  
  
"Yeah! Well too bad!" a strange figure says, the figure is a green fish like human crossover, like the The Creature From The Black Lagoon, and has a pitchfork.  
  
"Um.. That wasn't very descriptive." Kazooie complains.  
  
"Wait a sec, why are you here, and who are you?" Banjo asks.  
  
"I'm the Manly Fish and I came to find out why the water level rose!" the Manly Fish says.  
  
"Um, is that your real name?" Kazooie asks.  
  
"ENOUGH! I WILL DESTROY YOU!" the Manly Fish yells!  
  
The Manly Fish jumps in the water with his pitchfork!  
  
"YOU CAN'T WIN! THE AUTHOR WILL MAKE US!" Kazooie yells..  
  
Suddenly, a purple colored version of Manly Fish sneaks up behind Banjo and Kazooie and knocks both of them out.  
  
"Nice job." Manly Fish says..  
  
Manly Fish grabs the fainted Banjo and Kazooie and drags them to his under- see Jail, then locks them in.  
  
*Under-Sea Jail?*  
  
Manly Fish tosses the knocked out heroes in a Jail Cell, locks the door, and drains all the water in the room..  
  
"This was too easy… This wasn't even a drunk." Manly Fish says.  
  
Suddenly, an Evil Bowser laugh is heard instead of the usual witch laugh!  
  
  
  
  
  
It seems that, Banjo and Kazooie were, defeated? And this Manly Fish guy put them in a water prison, thingy.. Um, what was their crime? And why is the Manly Fish so mean? And what's going to happen to the drunks? Find out in the next chapter, oh.. This story! 


	8. Drowning, Death, and Manly Fish

"Okay.. Let's cut the crap.. All the collecting is un-necessary.. Correct? Yup." "But, how do I do stuff? Gu-huh!" Banjo replies. "We make a pathetic excuse as of, YOU HAD IT ALL ALONG!" "Can't we just get this bloody thing over with?" Gregg replies.. "Well.. Okay.."  
  
Chapter 8: Drowning, Death, and Manly FISH!  
  
"I have a brother! Muah ha ha ha ha!" Manly Fish yells. Suddenly, a creature that looks exactly like Manly Fish but PURPLE enters the jail cell. "I am the Manly Fish's brother!" Manly Fish's brother replies. "Okay.." Kazooie replies. "Now, I have work to attend to and I happen to have a brother.. Now, brother.. Look over these two idiots and make sure they don't escape." Manly Fish says, then walks away. "Well, now that my brother is gone.. Let me tell you the truth of the kind of guy I am.. Sadly, my brother likes to let bastards like you live.. I'm not like him however.. I personally like to kill first, and answer questions later.." Manly Fish's brother replies. "Suppose he gets mad that we are dead.." Kazooie replies. "Impossible, you see, I can kill my brother as much as I want, but as long as I am still alive, he can still come back.." Manly Fish's Brother replies. "Explain.." Kazooie replies. "Ever heard of PSI? I possess such a power to bring back my brother from the dead.. Now, lets move on to other matters of YOUR DEATH!" Manly Fish's Brother ends, and decides to shut the airlock in the jail cell. Soon, Manly Fish leaves the scene.. "Within seconds we will die.. Any suggestions Banjo? You haven't spoke a word.." Kazooie tells her dear friend. "Eh.. The End..!" Banjo states sadly.. Soon.. The two die together, from lack of air, and suffocate!  
  
Later, in a very dark dark place.. We see our heroes.. Moving some how..  
  
"Where are we?" Banjo asks. "Um.. I think we are dead.. But why am I still with you.." Kazooie replies.  
  
"HELLO FELLOW DEAD CREATURES!" a loud voice says. A figure in a cloak walks up to Banjo and Kazooie.. "Um.. Who the hell are you?" Kazooie asks. Lots of moaning is heard. "Shh.. Don't use the word hell around here.. Kinda annoyying to the people I hate.. Bloody bastards complain so much when the word is even spoken.. I wish I could make them shut the heavens up, but do they? **** nah.." the figure replies.. "Um.. Who are you.." Banjo asks. "Right.. I'm.. GREGG the Grim Reaper.." Gregg replies.. "And don't say a thing about my height.. I swear I'll slice ya.." Gregg quickly adds on.. "So we are dead? So where are we going? Heaven, Limbo, get re-incarnated, simply end, or do we go to HELL!" Kazooie yells in reply. Lots of moaning is heard again.. "I told you not to say that word.. Its just a pain in the ass.. The little pricks are still around here you know.. And the worst part is I can't block any sound that enters my skull.. Any how.. Your not really dead.. Sense this is the first time you meet me.. Let me explain.. For sound odd reason.. There used to be golden statues of you, Banjo Bear, Kazooie, and perhaps Mumbo who isn't here right now.. You get any of them, certain type for certain one of you, that is.. I'll give you an extra chance.. After all, its about time I can make some money, those golden statues are worth nothing in your world.. Here, I could make a lot of money with those." Gregg replies.. "But I wouldn't mind if you could help me out.. You know that squirrel friend of yours, he's undead, I hate that, not that I ever liked him anyways.. So could you do me a favor and give him a head-shot.. Cause I may get fired.. Now the Maggie and gay as can be Jolly Roger, turns out they don't have a soul in them, so don't bother with those bloody bastards. Now I have more assholes to see, except they moan all the time about hell.. That's it, piss off!" Gregg yells walking away..  
  
Meanwhile, at Castle Hag Witch-Wizard  
  
"Guess what.." Sayco yells to Scrott. "I thought I told you to get lost!" Scrott replies. "Well I got good news, the Bear and Bird died!" Sayco replies with joy.. "Yippee! Did you hear the Gruntilda!" Mingella replies. "Give me details.." Gruntilda demands. "I hired these two mutant fish to help get rid of the bear and bird. They have been living at the lagoon for quite a while.. They hated the newcomers at the island.. In fact rumors were that one of their lakes were filled with beer.. The best thing about these men is their team work.. The brother of manly can bring back his brother any time he wants.. Manly Fish himself is more powerful than his brother, but the brother posseses powers to bring certain things back from the dead.. Both fish men have a power PSI.. Very deadly in this case." Sayco tells them.. "Hmm.. Makes sense.. PSI, I want it.." Grunty tells them.. "Its basically like your black magic, so it would be useful, even then, each creature can use only certain types of PSI, and then, some can't use PSI no matter what.." Sayco tells them. "Oh well.. Now tell me the details of how the Bear and Bird died.." Gruntilda replies. "Well, there is basically a Jail cell made from the fish man duo, to preserve creatures on land.. It basically has an air look.. De-activate the airlock, and no air enters the jail cell.. So the Bear and Bird simply suffocated to their death.." Sayco gives the details. "We aren't done yet.. Mumbo still remains a threat to us.. And there are the Jinjos.." Sayco fills in the details. "What the.. Well, we still have Minjos.." Grunty tells them.. "Then there are those stupid Grey Squirrels! We'd have to create another war.. The only match for them are Tediz.." Sayco tells them.. "I know one man.. Well, weasel.. That can create the best Tediz possible.. Problem is.. He's dead.." Scrott tells them. Sayco soon leaves..  
  
Back at the underwater jail cell in the dumb lagoon.  
  
"Did I tell you to kill them brother? NO!! We were suppose to torture them first." Manly Fish says. "Well they were getting to be a pain in the ass!" the brother responds.. "Anyhow, lets just play with their dead body sense we got nothing else to do.. Heh heh.." the brother says. "I guess you got a point, but for now on I'm refering you as ASSHOLE!" Manly Fish yells. "Well, I got some drugs in our cellar to come your nerves.." brother responds.. They open the jail cell and kick out the bodies..  
  
Suddenly Banjo and Kazooie begin to move.  
  
"What the.. I thought you killed them! Did you use your powers to bring them to life or something?" Manly Fish asks. "Hell no! No way.. I drowned them to death! I didn't like em anyway." Brother responds.  
  
Banjo and Kazooie's eyes open..  
  
Meanwhile, way above the underwater jail cell. On ground level..  
  
"Huh!" Mumbo yells.. .. "Mumbo spotted you intruder! You can't hide from Mumbo for long! Mumbo has special powers!" Mumbo says in the area.. "Very well.." The figure replies, reveiling himself as Sayco.. "I know your exact plan.. You plan on making the oxygen in the water in this place breathable by any creature! Therefore trying to save Banjo and Kazooie, but they are already dead! And soon the same for you!" Sayco yells. Mumbo tries to zap Sayco with his stick, but Sayco seems immune to the staff.. "I'm sorry Mumbo, but your time is up!" Sayco yells.. Suddenly Mumbo floats in mid-air.. "Huh?" Mumbo replies.. "How would you like to Implode? Very nice indeed!" Sayco yells..  
  
Is this the end of Mumbo? If he dies will Gregg give him a chance or will Gregg just confirm that Mumbo is dead and he should of got Gregg some gold.. Is this the end? Well, no.. But I wish It was.. 


End file.
